Decisions
by Dedeen
Summary: Jim and Pam are married living in New York, lots of fluff and a little angst to make it interesting..NOW COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic.... Plz review if you want me to continue... I got some "things" up my sleave!

**flashbacks _italicized_

Disclaimer: I own nothing! nada!

Chapter 1

It was a clear morning in New York and the sunrays made their way through the glass door that led to a small terrace. He lay in bed with his eyes still closed while stroking the empty spot next to him. He slowly got up looking for any clothing article within an arm's length. He found his boxers and began making his way towards the bathroom. He stopped halfway to contemplate someone fiercely rummaging through the kitchen; loose honey curls hanging from her shoulders, engulfed by his large button-down shirt with most of her legs and face covered by honeydew colored paint. He continued towards and bathroom to find his own face and hair also covered with paint.

………………..

_"It's green!" he said. _

_"No, it's honeydew," she replied affectionately. _

_"There is no difference…. Why did we choosing green?" he said with a smirk._

_"Honeydew! Because it is a neutral color… we can also go with saffron."_

_"You mean yellow?" _

_He picked up two containers of honeydew paint as he kissed her forehead and placed it in the cart. She held out her hand and grabbed his with a small squeeze. They walked hand in hand making their way to the cashier._

…………………

After washing his face he made his way to the kitchen grabbing a worn gray t-shirt from the closet. He stumbled among some boxes that were stacked by the walls of the hallway. One particular box collapsed letting a sea of shoes reach as far as the carpet went and stopped were the kitchen started.

"Hey!" Pam looked up and saw Jim clumsily making his way to the kitchen. She smiled.

"Hi," he said as he gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "You have too many shoes," he continued as he bent down to pick them up.

"No I don't," she said helping him. "I was actually thinking of getting a pair of crocs this weekend."

"Crocs? Those things are ugly Beesley."

"They are so not! They are very comfortable for someone in my situation," Pam said as she sheepishly looked down at her small bump.

Jim kneeled down and kissed her belly. "Wow! This wasn't here last night!" Jim said surprised as to how much her belly was showing through his already large shirt.

"It's getting big, isn't it?" she said unable to hide a huge smile on her face.

­……………………….

_It was their last night in Scranton and Michael decided to take Jim and Pam and the entire office for a good-bye party at the local fair. Pam already had her good-bye party five months before when she left to work at the local fine arts museum. Her job was simple and required that she learned about various art exhibits to share with incoming visitors. "Perfect!"She thought. After seeing her sketches, he boss introduced her to some friends in the graphic design industry that were willing to offer her an internship. The timing of Jim's promotion was nothing short than perfect. Jim was offered a job as a chief regional director of sales working directly under Wallace in New York. He had hesitated, but it was a good offer and it gave Pam a chance to take the internship. They were leaving first thing in the morning. _

_" Uh… cotton candy!" she said in a pleading tone._

_"Of course! Who goes to a fair and not eat cotton candy and candy apples!" He said pulling on her hand._

_"Angela! She looks depressed."_

_"It's because you have to be this tall," he indicated with his hand, "to go on the rides!"_

_"Oh suck it Halpert!"_

_They walked together, his arm on her shoulders and hers around his waist. And after many candy-apples, popcorn, and milkshakes they decided to call it a night. They said their good-byes and heard Michael sing a parody song to Randy Newman's "You got a friend in me." They drove home and decided to go straight to bed to renew their energies for the long day ahead. _

_Jim woke up in the middle of the night by a dim light coming from the bathroom. He looked over to his left and Pam was not there. He looked over to the lonely clock on the night stand, 4:37 am. He quickly stood up and made his way towards the light._

_"Pam?" She could sense the worry in his voice. _

_"Here!" it barely made it out before the contents of her stomach came rushing out. _

_"Oh Pam…" he said holding her hair. "Are you ok?"_

_"I think I may have had too many candy-apples and that…was the last of it." _

_Grabbing a hair clip from the top of the sink he pinned her wild curls down. He knelt next to her giving a soft kiss on her cheek. He then scooped her up and made his way to the kitchen. He sat her down on the counter touching her forehead. _

_"No fever… but I'm still going to make you some tea," He said taking her hands and kissing them. _

_"I love you," she whispered. _

……………..

They sat eating breakfast outside on the patio. The city skyline could be clearly seen from where they were. Pam had started her internship three days after they had moved. She was also re-taking her computer class back at the Pratt-Institute of Art. The internship went from Monday through Thursday and her class was on Friday mornings. Today was Jim's first day at the corporate office. Wallace would be introducing him to the company as the chief regional director of sales. He made it sound like it was no big deal, but Pam new that he was very excited about it. She hadn't seen that tinkle in his eyes since the Office Olympics back in Scranton.

They had spent the last two weeks settling in the new apartment. It was the perfect apartment and it occupied the entire third floor. It had wood floors, a large eat-in-kitchen, one and a half bathrooms, two bedrooms, living room, and a terrace outside the master bedroom. Jim was able to sell their house back in Scranton and use the money as a down payment for the apartment.

"Alright, I'm off… Don't want to be late on my first day!" He got up and kissed her long enough to send chills down her spine.

"Ok...uhm….yeah…me too!" She said blushing from head to toe.

"Has the paint come off of it, you think?" He said holding a cup with green water inside.

"It should have."

He drained the water on the sink revealing something shiny at the bottom. He reached for it wiping the water off before putting it on his left ring finger. "Good as new!" He exclaims.

"You don't want to leave the house without that," she said looking at her toes before grinning at him.

"Is that a threat Beesley?"

"No, just a suggestion… I don't want receptionists hitting on my husband," she said sheepishly putting her arms around his neck and pulling him for a soft kiss. They continued to kiss with increasing intensity. His hand let go off his messenger bag finding its way around her waist. Soon enough he scooped her up and starting heading down the hall, never breaking their kiss.

"You are going to be late!" She said loosening his tie.

"You too!"

"My class is not till eleven," she said now removing his belt.

"And your point is?" He said with a smile.

* * *

Plz review... I will continue... a little angst is on the way...

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews…

Anxiety towards the end…

Disclaimer: I own nothing don't sue me…

_*flashbacks italicized _

* * *

Chapter two

"Jimbo!" said a too familiar voice.

"Hey Michael," he said with a lop-sided smile.

"We miss you man. How's Pam?"

"She is …" Another memorable voice interrupted before he could finish.

"Hi Jim!"

"Hey Karen," he said rather surprised to see her, even though he knew he would run into her at today's meeting. "How's is uhm… Dan?"

"Oh, he is good…he is actually at the park with Evan now. We all came up for the weekend."

"Oh fun, Evan is almost three now, right?" he said trying to dissolve the awkwardness.

"Yeah… So how's Pam?" Karen said as she pointed to a paint smudge on his neck.

...................

"_Ok, so how are we gonna do this?" He asked looking around the white walls of the soon to be nursery. _

"_We are going to put tape around the bottom corners and then paint!" She said reaching to kiss his cheek._

"_Are you sure it's that simple Beesley?" _

"_Yep," she said toying with the hairs that made their way off the sides of his baseball cap. His hair had grown longer than she had ever seen. She loved it. _

_They began placing the tape around the edges and putting newspapers over the wooden floors. She took over one wall while he tackled another. Her wall was looking perfect while his had paint running in all directions. She reached over to show him how it was done. _

"_Up and down strokes… and you don't need that much paint" she said dipping her finger in the paint and doting his nose. _

"_Are you sure it's not side to side?" He said placing a green hand print on her belly. _

"_Jim!" _

"_It's ok, 'non-toxic,'" he read, "'safe to a baby's touch,' they wouldn't lie Pam." _

"_It's so on Halpert!" She grabbed the roller and smudged his white shirt. Jim gently grabbed both of her hands in one of his and used the other to blotch paint on her face and arms. They come across as two kids who had just been introduced to finger painting, their canvas being each other._

"_You look cute in green," he said sarcastically. _

"_It's honeydew."_

_He pulled her into a deep passionate kiss and she put her arms around his neck. His hands found their way to the rim of her shirt and she began unbuttoning his. They were soon intertwined with one another doing what they do best, love each other. Night came quickly and now he stared deeply at her with adoring eyes. They lay wrapped around a blanket on the floor of their half painted nursery. He carefully picked her up and carried to the bedroom and tucked her in. He then lay next to her, kissing her forehead before falling asleep. _

_...................._

"Let's get started," Wallace said entering the small conference room, "Now that Jim has finally arrived…"

"Sorry," Jim interrupted, "Still trying to find my way around," he says taking a seat by Wallace.

"We are here as to introduce James Halpert as the chief director of sales." He said giving Jim a small tap on his back.

The meeting continued for the next hour explaining Jim's role in the company to the regional managers. After a small luncheon he was led to his office and around the building's quarters. Jim felt like the new kid on the playground as Wallace introduced him to the rest of the corporate staff. It had been a god day, except when Michael told everyone about their failed mission to Utica a few years back.

"We had warehouse uniform, mustaches, silly-string…" Michael said hugging Jim and pressing his head on his chest.

"Yep, so who can go for a cup of coffee right now?" Jim said quickly averting the scene. With a nod everyone stood up and began making their way towards the elevators.

.......................

Later on the following week Jim accompanied Pam to her doctor's visit, taking an extended lunch break.

"Doctor King will see you now Mrs. Halpert," said the nurse as she opened the door to the examination room.

"We might get a picture of the baby today," she said squeezing his hand lightly.

"Yes, I can put it on my desk in my office," he said proudly, "It's pretty empty right now."

"Ok, let's see what we have here," said the doctor placing the cold gel-like substance on her stomach. "

The image was dark and fuzzy. Pam and Jim could barely make out what was that they were seeing. They simply nodded and smiled at one another knowing full well that none of them could make out a baby on the monitor. The doctor pointed out the head, but it was all too blurry for them to see. She measured the baby and informed that she was indeed 3 ½ months pregnant.

"The baby is healthy and mom seems to be doing fine," said the doctor, "Please schedule your next appointment with Sam at the front desk."

"Ok," said Pam attempting once more to see the baby on the print-out sonogram.

"It right there Beesley," Jim said pointing to the middle of the picture.

"You have no idea where it is!" She said pulling him to a kiss

..................

It had already been a month and three weeks since their move to New York. Three sonogram pictures hang loosely on the fridge door. With each passing day Pam's belly was growing bigger. Her cravings included exotic fruits like persimmons and mangos. Luckily, in New York you could find anything, even at two in the morning.

"You know, I read that if you talk the baby listens," she said lying on the couch with a small pamphlet she had pick up at the doctor's office.

"Is that right Beesley?" he said with a lop-sided smile, "Do you want me to start talking to the baby?"

"Yeah…." She replied in a child-like manner.

"Oookaay."

He left the kitchen bringing a plate of kiwi and sat of the couch. He pulled her up to his lap so that her belly was directly underneath his chin. He gently kissed her forehead, placed his hands on her stomach, and cleared his throat.

"Ahen…. Hi there baby in the belly, so today I went to work and sold..."

"Nooo" She said giggling, "You are going to put the baby to sleep!"

"Ok, ok… I will save that one for when it's born."

"Good!"

"Ok…… so let me tell you how…" he said winking at Pam, "you happen to find your tiny self in there. Your mother had too much wine…"

Pam let out an enormous laugh, covering Jim's mouth with her hand.

"Let's keep this PG13 ok?"

_....................._

_It was their two year wedding anniversary and Jim had decided to take Pam to his parent's beach house. It was a small three bedroom house with a large deck that led down to the beach. They had arrived Friday morning, spending the day walking around the small town and shopping. They spent Saturday mostly on the beach and at night Jim prepared a romantic dinner outside. _

"_This is really amazing!"She said with a huge smile._

_The candles flickered with the gentle breeze radiating her beautiful features. His cheeks were rosy from the sun and his hair was clumsily parted to the side. The sky was dark and a few stars could be seen through the passing clouds. They ate and drank more wine than they would have on a regular basis. They sat on the deck talking and laughing for hours into the night. Then Pam had an idea._

"_Oh, you know what we should do?" She asked with the biggest grin pointing towards the water._

"_What? Are you serious?" He said in disbelief._

"_Quit stalling Halpert," she said stumbling though the deck tugging at his arm. He got up and followed without hesitating. He took off his shirt and pants and unzipped her dress. He scooped her up making his way towards the water breaking through a few gentle waves. The water felt cool and they hugged closer to keep warm. He began kissing her gently but passionately and she responded by pulling closer to him. The world had been forgotten, their fears left behind with their clothes. All that mattered was the new life being created by their act of love._

.................

As the chief director of sales, Jim was required to visit with the northeastern branches at least once every month. This week he was going to Scranton. He was leaving with Pam Thursday night and spending Friday at the office and the rest of the weekend visiting with friends and family. Pam skipped around the house talking on the phone with her mother as she packed lunch for their trip. She was excited to visit Scranton because it had been 4 months since she had last seen her family. She wanted to show her mother how big her belly had gotten.

"It is enormous mom….Yep, 7 months AND a half… uhm… we are keeping it a delivery surprise…. It's more fun that way…ok… love you….bye!"

"I think we are ready," Jim said entering the kitchen, rubbing her belly tenderly.

"Ok, let's go!"

It was pouring rain outside. The earlier forecast had only shown scattered rain showers through most of the evening. However, the showers had quickly developed into a full blown spring storm. It seemed to be getting worse the further they drove out of the city. Lightening illuminated the sky providing them with an amazing spectacle. Jim was driving slowly being very cautious. However, the rain persisted and the roads were barely visible.

"Do you think we should stop and wait for it to pass?" Pam said nudging Jim with her elbow.

"Nah… we will be fine."

That was his worse decision yet.

* * *

Cliffhanger…

Angst coming next…

Please review… makes me very happy…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing don't sue me…

_*flashbacks italicized_

**..........**

Chapter 3

_Headache_. The word finally took hold of its meaning. The excruciating pain was extracting the life within him. He could barely feel the rain drops that poked their way through the fractured windshield. He was damp, cold, and unaware. He opened his eyes to see flashes of unfocused lights that glistened in a distance. His mouth was dry and his body ached. He brought his hands to his face, feeling the cool of his own touch against his blazing cheeks. _Airbag _and _Engine _was among the words blinking on his was then startled by two large strikes on his side window.

"Are you ok?" A voice said repeatedly.

Jim absently looked around trying to find the source of the clamor. He spotted a large figure outside his window. He pressed on the switch, but the window wouldn't budge. He naively concluded the car must be off. As he reached for the ignition, he was bewildered by the scenario before him. There was a fuming red car facing his and another embedded on his door. His windshield looked similar to a spider's web and small pieces of glass were unleashed everywhere. He sunk onto his seat feeling his heart pounding though his chest. Then a devastating feeling made its way down his spine. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He extended his hand to the right touching her now damp curls.

"Pam!" He shouted. Tears began forming in his eyes, "Pam!"

She was barely conscious, mumbling words over his cries. She felt his warm cheeks touching her cool skin. His hands, though cold, embraced her pulling her closer to him.

The voice outside still determined to get Jim's attention, continued pounding on the window. "Is she ok?"

"I don't know," Jim say under his breath.

"Pam, Pam! Stay with me babe, ok?" Jim said kissing her forehead. But she only made small gasping sounds mouthing words he couldn't understand.

"Can you open your window?" Shouted the voice.

"No it's not working," Jim said pointing to the blinking dashboard lights. Pam finally let out an audible shriek calling Jim's attention back to her.

"W-what happened?" She said almost whispering.

"I think we crashed," he said hesitantly. "Are you ok?"

"I think so," she replied pulling herself upon the seat.

"Try to kick the window out." The voice persisted.

Without thinking, Jim took off his seatbelt, pulled his knees to his chest, and kicked the window sending glass and agonizing pain down his left leg. He quickly pulled back not making a sound, so not to worry Pam. He gently held his leg knowing that it was severely injured. He then turned his attention to Pam, feeling her staring at him intently. Jim began to scrutinize her from head to toe: touching her face, arms, legs, and finally her protruding belly.

"Isthe baby ok?" He said tenderly caressing her belly.

"It's kicking non-stop," Pam said with a soft smile.

She placed her hand over his moving it across her stomach. He felt a kick.

...................

"_So today your mom and I went to find you a crib," Jim said overwhelming her belly with small kisses. "We bought a white one that had your mom screaming at the top of her lungs."_

"_It's beautiful and t should be arriving tomorrow, "Pam said pinching his side. _

_Jim let out an enormous chuckle joined by Pam. _

"_Oh my god!" She said interrupting the moment._

"_What?"_

"_It's uhm… It's…" She couldn't finish her sentence before laughing again. She took his hand placing it on her stomach. He looked at her puzzled. They were just waiting silently now. _

"_What is goin…" _

"_Shhh!" She interrupted. _

_She waited for a while but with no luck. Pam reckoned it was probably her stomach growling. She shrugged and Jim redirected his attention to her belly. "So, as I was saying, we bought a crib, a changing table…"_

"_It is kicking!"She shouted out affirmatively. _

"_What? Where?" He asked her pointing to the belly. _

"_Keep talking," she demanded. _

"… _a blanket, shelves," he continued. After half way through the list he shouted, "Oh, oh it's kicking!"_

"_Yeah, you have to keep talking," she said. _

"_Hi there baby kicking in the belly." He tickled her belly with the tips of his fingers. "Oh! That was a big one Pam!"_

"_That's what she said!" She said tentatively. _

"_Oh Beesley…Good one," he said lifting his hands in the air, "keep in mind that __it__ can hear you!" _

"_I know, I told you that!" She said victoriously. _

.............

"We have to get you out," said the voice removing pieces of shattered glass from the window. He then pointed to the cars surrounding him, "It's not safe here."

He was an off duty police officer that had witness the accident unfold. A red corolla had skidded on the wet highway hitting Jim's blue Toyota, who then lost control colliding with a green Jetta. The passengers on the other cars were already sheltered at a safe distance from the scene. Jim and Pam were the only ones still trapped; both doors had been crushed and wouldn't open.

"I need you to exit the car through the window," said the officer holding his hand out to Jim, "The paramedics will be here soon to take care of that gash on your forehead." Jim touched his forehead revealing blood splattered on his hand. He swallowed dry.

"I'm not leaving the car without her," he said placing his hand on her belly, "She can't leave by means of…"

"It's ok," Pam said placing her hand over his, "We are ok!"

"No. I'm not leaving." He said firmly. Pam was relieved. She wanted to be strong, but she was terrified. He always had a calming presence whenever he was around.

"Well," said the officer lowering his head, "We're gonna have to cut you out."

The sounds of sirens could be heard from a distance. The officer stopped the bleeding on Jim's forehead with gauze pads and tended to minor scrapes on Pam's shoulder. He also placed a space blanket over Pam, who continued to shiver. They sat in the car anxiously waiting for help to arrive. Jim could see fear in Pam's eyes and it broke his heart to think that he was the cause of her suffering. They could have stopped like she had asked, but _he_ decided to keep driving. In an effort to make her disregard her qualms, Jim began whispering in her ear.

"Remember when Dwight crashed his car?"

"Yeah, he was nice to me that whole day!"

"At least _we_ don't have a concussion," Jim said playfully touching her cheek, but received no response from Pam.

"Are you ok?" He said nervously.

"Yeah, I'm just a little lightheaded, I haven't eaten in a while… I want a star fruit!"

"I will get you one as soon as we are out of here," he said squeezing her hands gently before kissing them.

A fire truck made its way to the scene. Soon five firemen were surrounding their little blue car. One of them held something rather big that resembled a chainsaw. Pam widened her eyes as it met the monstrous apparatus. She looked at Jim who gave her a comforting nod. He pulled closer and continued to whispering in her ear. One of the firemen walked over tapping him lightly on his shoulder.

"Sir, in order for us to remove her safely," he paused, "You can't be in the car."

Pam widened her eyes holding his hand tighter. She was scared by the thought of being away from him. She didn't want him to leave. He didn't want to leave either. But, he knew he would only be in their way inside their small blue car.

"It will be ok, I will be right outside," he said placing his forehead against hers, cupping her face with his hands. He pulled her closer into a hug and kissed her gently. Her skin was damp and cold.

"Love you," he whispered on her ear.

"Love you too," she mouthed.

Jim was pulled out from the car by two firemen. Unable to stand on his own, they carried him to the ambulance. He couldn't take his eyes off the car, off her. But the paramedics soon surrounded him examining the various cuts and wounds on his body. They stabilized his legs and assessed the rest of his superficial injuries. The loud noise of the machine cutting through his car pierced his ears. He could barely make out the car due to all the firemen, police, and paramedics surrounding it. He sat at the edge of the ambulance taking in the scene in front of him. After an agonizing fifteen minutes a fireman approached him.

"Son, you need to accompany me, she has been insistently asking for you….. And we need her to collaborate with us."He nods fervently and gets up with the help of the fireman. He slowly approaches the car and begins to hear her soft cries, "Jim! Please I need him…"

_..............._

_"Jim!" she calls him, "Jiiimmm!!"_

_He is startled by her shrieks and stumbles out of bed into the hallway, following the light coming from the hall. It is their first night at their new apartment, and Jim has just realized that as he enters the guest bedroom and not the bathroom. He turns around heading to the other side of the hall. He finds Pam once again displacing her stomach's contents into the toilet bowl. _

"_Oh Pam," he says with a sigh, "Again? You didn't have any more candy-apples did you?"_

"_No… I need you to hold my hair," she said sheepishly smiling at him. _

_He bent down holding her curls with one hand and caressing her back with the other. _

"_Do you think I caught a bug at the fair?" she asked. _

"_Well, you caught something," he replied, "But you are not running a temperature." _

_She sighed and fell back resting her head against his chest. He embraced her pulling her close. _

"_I'm going to stay here, just in case…" she said looking up at him. _

"_That makes two of us then."_

_The next day they were both extremely tired and laid lazily in bed. Feeling less nauseous, Pam decided to get up and make breakfast. She went to the kitchen finding an empty fridge and two take-out boxes on the counter. She grabbed her keys and headed for the door. She drove to the supermarket and walked slowly along the aisles. She stopped and looked at a pink box on one of the shelves. "Pregnancy Test," she read. She picked two and placed in the cart. "Wouldn't hurt," she thought. _

_She drove home and placed the bags on the table and walked briskly to the bedroom. Jim had just gotten up and was making his way to the kitchen when Pam said, "Good morning," as she sped by him. "Good morning," he replied pulling her arm and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. He walked over to the counter and began shuffling through the bags. She came out of the bedroom and found him holding the pink boxes, one on each hand. _

"_I-I… was thinking," She begins explaining, "May be… it's a possibility?!?"_

_Jim just held the boxes and stared at them as if he has never seen them before._

"_Say something," she implored._

"_Whoa," Jim replied, "Well, there is only one way to find out." _

_They stood there waiting for the ten minutes to pass. He sat on the floor of the bathroom with his head between his knees while she paced from side to side. _

"_Has it been.…"_

"_No," he replied. _

_Ding!_

"_I can't look," she says holding her hand in front of her eyes. Jim picked up the stick with a sigh, looked at it, but showed no emotion. _

"_Well…" she said with her eyes still closed._

"_Well, we have our answer." He said with a chuckle. _

_She opened her eyes and read the word "pregnant." She looked at him speechless. He stood there now laughing, amazed. _

"_I'm…" she corrected herself, "We are… pregnant!" He pulled her into a hug and kissed her kindly. She stood on her tip-toes resting her head on his chest._

"_How did this happen?" she mumbled into shirt. _

"_You mom never explained the birds and the bees to you Beesley?"_

"_I am gonna need you babe."_

"_I am here babe."_

_They laughed at the memory of that horrible dinner party. _

................

"I need him…please!" she continued to softly cry out.

Jim made his way towards her and with the help of the paramedics. They lifted him back into the car and advised him to calm her. Her face was pale and covered with tears. It looked like she had been crying for the past fifteen minutes that he was gone. She had various tubes coming from her arm and an oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose. He held her gently and kissed her forehead, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"Hey," he whispered softly, "I need you to be strong." The noise inside the car was overwhelming. She looked at him sobbing.

"It…the…b-ba… Jim…" she began to mumble under her breath.

"It's fine, it's gonna be ok," he said placing his hand on her belly.

"No, no…" she said sobbing into his chest, "_It_ stopped moving."

Suddenly an accelerated beeping noise inundated the car.

"We are going to have to sedate her," said a doctor who had arrived earlier at the scene, "Her blood pressure is skyrocketing." He placed a needle in one of the tubes in her arms releasing its contents and watched her fall limply into Jim's arms.

Jim looked at her unable to say a word, tears flooding down in his eyes. The fireman touched his shoulder indicating that they were ready to remove the door. He nodded quietly and held her tightly. The sound of scratching metal pierced the cool night air. He kissed her cheek and made his way out and around the car. He saw them lifting her lifeless body revealing a large puddle of blood on the seat.

.....................

I hope you like it so far! Constructive criticism always welcomed!

Please review, it makes me happy!

To be continued…

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews…

Disclaimer: I own nothing don't sue me…

_*flashback italicized _

………………

Chapter 4

_Thud!_ The doors of the ambulance closed. The flashing lights and the sirens plagued Jim's exhausted being. He fell to his knees resting his hands on the ground, feeling the rain cascade over his head. He sobbed quietly. The sounds of the sirens slowly drifting away into the dark night. Jim felt a heavy hand rest on his shoulder. He turned to see a uniformed personal looking down at him.

"Son, you need to come with us," he said in a soft and comforting tone.

"Where are they taking her?"

"Lehigh Valley State Hospital," he said with a sigh. "Do you need to call someone?"

"Yeah… but is she…uhm… are _they_…?" He said amongst tears. The paramedic gave Jim a half-smile helping him to his feet. Jim winced with pain shooting down his leg. The officer quickly signaled others to come assist him.

"Do you have anything in the car that you might want us to remove before it's taken away?"

Jim's only possessions had already been taken away. The two most important things in his life were now miles away. "Ahen," Jim cleared his throat, "I have two travel bags in the trunk."

"I will make sure they get them to you. Phone?"

"Yes, please."

Jim held brief conversations on the phone before hanging up and handing it back to its owner. He was then carried to the ambulance and transported to the Hospital. The ambulance ride was an agonizing trip. He wanted to tell them to go faster, but the speedometer already read 85 mph. He couldn't sit still. He fiddled with the IV tubes on his arm and played with the bandages on his leg. He wanted to get there, he wanted to see _them_. At the hospital he was quickly taken inside a well-lighted room. A nurse followed handing him dry scrubs and towels.

"The doctor will be with you soon," she smiled.

"My wife…uhm… she was bought here and…" His voice was hoarse.

"I'm sorry Mr.…"

"Halpert"

"But you'll have to wait for the Doctor," she said impassively.

Jim removed his damp clothes feeling the bitter cold penetrate his body. He felt confined within the white walls of the room. He sat on the bed looking at the clock ticking on the wall, 10:47 pm. A knock on the door startled him.

"Come in," he said anxiously.

"Hello Mr. Halpert, I'm Dr. Kane and I'm taking care of your wife," he said holding a clipboard on one hand.

"Is she ok? Is the baby ok?"

"She's lost a lot blood."

Jim was silent.

"We were able to stabilize her condition, but I don't know for how much longer. You see," the doctor took a seat in front of him, "The impact of the accident induced her into premature labor."

"She is only seven months pregnant, she can't, right?"

"Premature births are complicated," said Dr. Kane, "If the bleeding persists as well as the contractions, removing the baby is her best option."

Jim swallowed dry. "Can I see her?"

"Yes."

Jim, aided by crutches, followed a nurse up to the fifth floor of the hospital. He watched the numbers in the elevator light up as it passed by each floor. When the elevator doors opened Jim took a deep breath as he read the entrance sign: _Surgical ER_. They walked down a long hallway passing by a quite waiting room. They stopped between two double doors where the nurse punched a code and the doors flung open. They walked another ten feet and stopped in front of a grey door. The nurse opened the door and signaled with her hand for him to enter.

"I will be outside," she said.

He quietly entered, taking in the scene before him. There was blood splattered on the floor. Wires and tubes surfaced all around her and various monitors beeped rhythmically. He removed the crutches from under his arms and placed them against the wall. Jim began approaching her slowly resting his weight on his right leg. Tears fell on his cheeks. He kissed her forehead running his hand gently through her hair, grabbing her hand and holding it gently.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey!" he said surprised. "I missed you so much."

"Me too."

They kissed.

Pam had woken up in this room disoriented and frightened. She looked around observing various doctors and nurses surrounding her. Instead of voicing any concerns she recoiled into herself hoping if she kept her eyes closed long enough she would wake up and it would all be a dream. She would awaken at home in her own bed lying beside the man she loved most in this world. He would hug and kiss her good morning like every morning since their wedding.

Feeling Jim's warn lips meeting hers lifted a sagging load off of her shoulders. She didn't have to pretend anymore, he could see right through her. Jim sat next to the bed placing his hand on her belly. She closed her eyes, listening to the baby's heartbeat on the monitor.

"_It_ hasn't kicked," she said soberly.

"_It's_ resting," he said with a lopsided smile. "We had a pretty hectic day!"

"Are you ok?" she asked lifting her head to look at this leg.

"I'm fine," He smiled, "I called your mom, she is driving up with your dad, my parents too."

"You didn't worry them did you?" She said almost playfully.

"Nah…"

"Should we worry?" Pam's demeanor changed, she gazed straight into his eyes. "I wanna know."

Jim sat back and took a deep breath, "The doctor said you are undergoing premature labor. If the contractions and the bleeding don't stop…"

"No!" She cried.

Jim stood up and embraced her gently. She sobbed quietly on his shoulder securing a tight hold on his shirt. He carefully sat on the bed pulling her closer to him, running his hand through her hair. He couldn't take seeing her so distraught. He wanted to make it go away; he wanted to make her smile. But there was nothing he could say or do, for he also felt the agonizing pain. They stayed holding on to each other in silence.

………..

"_We have to pick a name," said Pam scrutinizing a book as she sat with her back against the foot of bed._

"_Right now?" He shouted from the bathroom, brushing his teeth. _

"_Well… why not?"_

"_Oookaay, hold on…." He rinsed his mouth swirling the water before spitting out. "What do you got?" He said lying on the floor next to her. _

"_For boys I have Caleb, Levi, Noah…" _

"_This IS the 21__st__ century right?"_

"_Stop it, they are conventional names James." She said playfully smacking his arm._

"_Ok…" He said taking the book from her hand, "How about Ryder, Zephyr, Oriole…"_

_She stared at him rolling her eyes._

"_It's unique!" He said with a chuckle. _

_She grabbed the book back from his hand. "Let's move on to girls…Olivia, Sofie, Elle…" _

"_Olivia?"_

"_What now?"_

"_High School girlfriend."_

_She rolled her eyes scratching the name out. After two boxes of pizza and hours of intense discussion they looked happy at an illegible, scribble piece of paper. _

"_I like it," she said with a smile. _

"_Yep, we did good Beesley!" _

………..

Jim was startled by the nurse entering the room. She walked towards the monitors examining and taking notes on a clipboard. She adjusted the dosage on Pam's arm and removed a note from her pocket.

"Mr. Halpert, Your parents, Larissa and Dan Halpert have arrived. They are in the waiting room down the hall."

"Thanks," he smiled.

He got up slowly from the bed not wanting to wake Pam who had finally fallen asleep. The nurse handed him his crutches and he made his way towards the door. Arriving at the waiting room he saw two familiar figures seated in the far left corner.

"Jim!"

"Mom, dad!"

They embraced him like a child. They stood in the quiet waiting room holding onto each other. Jim had never felt so vulnerable. He held the image of a child seeking comfort after a night's dream.

"Are you ok?" His mom asked touching the bandages on his forehead and leg.

"Yeah."

"Is Pam and the baby ok?"

"She is stable and sleeping… she went into premature labor."

"Oh honey…" Larissa held her hand to her mouth.

"She lost at lot of blood," He said under his breath, "All we can do is wait."

The Beesleys arrived soon after and were greeted by the three of them sitting in the waiting room. The mood was poignant. Larissa signaled her husband to take Jim for a cup of coffee. Jim hesitantly got up and exited the room with his dad.

………..

Jim returned to Pam's room finding it empty. He walked outside looking aimlessly for a nurse. He saw someone coming towards him from the far end of the hallway. He began limping toward it. Once he was close enough he was able to recognized Dr. Kanes's large figure. Before Jim could even ask about Pam he began speaking, "We are going to have to deliver the baby, now!"

"What?" Jim said shocked.

"She has continued to bleed; her blood pressure is at a dangerous level" he said rushing.

Jim's world fell apart as the words leaked out of the doctor's mouth. He had left her less than twenty minutes ago and she seemed fine. She had spoken to him. Dreadful thoughts began to plague the abyss of his mind. He felt his head spin and his stomach turn, causing him to almost loose his balance.

"Do you want to be present for the birth?" Doctor Kane asked.

"Yes," he said agitatedly.

Jim followed a nurse to the prep room, then to the surgical quarters where nurses and doctors crowded around Pam. He sat behind a makeshift curtain holding Pam's lifeless hand. He kissed her temple running his hand through her hair. He listened intently to the rhythmic beeping of the monitors and to the commands given by the surgeon. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Pam's shoulder. He was awakened from his thoughts by Dr. Kanes's deep voice as he glanced over the curtain.

"Ok… It's time!"

The nurses moved from one side to the other holding towels in their hands. Jim held his breath whispering in Pam's ear hoping she could hear him. He felt his heart pounding on his chest. He gently kissed Pam's hand holding it tightly against his chest. He suddenly felt butterflies in his stomach when he heard a soft high-pitched cry.

"It's girl!" The doctor announced holding her in his hands.

Jim looked at his daughter engulfed in blood and white mater. She is beautiful; her cries now piercing the air.

"Can you hear the babe," he whispered in Pam's ear, "It's a girl, we have a little girl!" He looked up again, but the nurses had taken her away.

"I love you," he whispered in his ears.

He was then startled by the accelerated beeping of the monitors. Nurses rushed in, surrounding Pam once more. The Doctor began to yell commands, but all Jim was able to understand was '_pressure dropping'._ He felt a hand on his shoulders; he turned around finding a nurse standing over him.

"What is going on?" He asked tensely.

"I'm sorry Mr. Halpert, you will have to wait outside."

"No!" But the words never came out, only tears flooded his eyes. He hesitantly let go of Pam's hand, kissing her with trembling lips. The nurse led him outside to the waiting room where he was greeted by their parents. His demeanor was heartbreaking. They quickly embraced him without questioning. The nurse informed them about the current situation and asked that they wait until further notice.

………..

The wait was agonizing. The clock on the wall read 3:56 am. Jim replayed the image of his baby girl over and over again in his mind. Her soft cries inundated his being with extreme vigor. She was so tiny, but occupied such a large chunk his heart now. He was awakened from his thoughts as the doctor walked into the waiting room. He quickly stood to his feet.

"Mr. Halpert, the baby is stable, but not entirely breathing on her own. We are keeping her in the NICU until she is past the danger zone."

Jim, who had been holding his breath, let out a huge sigh. He felt his mother's hand resting on his back.

"Your wife," he continued, "Had a ruptured membrane, but we were able to successfully stop the bleeding once the baby was out."

Jim sunk back into the uncomfortable chair of the waiting room. He watched as their parents exchanged hugs. He leaned his head against the wall looking up at the ceiling tiles when it finally sunk in; _I'm dad, I'm someone's dad._ He kept repeating in his mind.

"I'm a dad!"

………………..

Please review, it literally makes my day!

Next we get to meet baby girl Halpert!


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for everyone who reviewed; it makes me warm and fuzzy inside!

Disclaimer: I own nada…

_*flashback italicized _

………………..

Chapter 5

Jim stood motionless resting his forehead against a large glass window. The coolness of the glass felt refreshing against his warm skin. A smile would creep from his lips now and again as he looked intently inside, tapping the tip of his fingers gently against the glass. Nothing could divert his attention from the small baby inside an incubator labeled _baby girl Halpert._ A pink blanked with green flowers enveloped her comfortably. She occasionally shifted around amongst tubes and wires that engulfed her tiny body. _She is so beautiful, _he thought.

Jim had been standing there for the last half hour admiring his and Pam's masterpiece. "Are you here to see the baby?" A nurse asked Jim bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Yeah, can I?"

"Yes, I need to see your bracelet."

He pulled his right hand from his pocket and pushed the sleeve towards his elbow. Two clear bracelets with small inscriptions revealed around his wrist. The nurse glanced at the bracelets and then at the clock on the wall, 9:35 am.

"Follow me Mr. Halpert," she said scanning her card on the door leading to the Neonatal intensive-care unit. The nurse led Jim towards the incubator and pulled him a chair. He placed his crutches against the wall and took a seat.

"So, you are her father…she is very 'energetic,'" she said with a smirk.

"Oh, that's good right?" He said raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah… it is _very_ good," she smiled and Jim let out a sigh.

"She _is_ going to be ok, right?"

The nurse could see the worry in his eyes, which were enveloped by dark circles from lack of sleep. His demeanor was clenched and his breathing was shallow. He still wore the same blue scrubs given to him the night before. The nurse recognized his appearance from years of experience; He had seen his life slip through his fingers.

"She is not breathing entirely on her own yet, hence she is not past the danger zone. But she is a fighter."

"Can I hold her?"

"Yes."

She carefully opened the incubator aperture and began digging around the blankets for the small baby. She pulled her up watchfully as not to disturb any tubes or wires. The nurse placed the now agitated baby in his arms. Her cries were now piercing through the calm air of the NICU. He held her watching as she turned all shades of red. He looked up at the nurse worriedly, but she only nodded gently and smiled as she exited the room. He began to rock her from side to side hoping she would calm.

"Hey baby _out _of the belly..." he began, "your mom and I are very happy you are here..."

Jim continued talking until she finally ceased crying. She now rested peacefully in his arms and Jim let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. She opened her small green eyes looking intently at him. He took her small hands in his, counting all ten little fingers. She grasped one of his holding it tightly. A tear escaped from the side of his eye.

After almost a half hour later the nurse returned.

"The doctor just informed me that your wife has been moved from the surgical wing to recovery," she said softly as not to wake the baby, who had fallen asleep serenely in his arms.

"Oh good!" Jim said ardently. He felt a burning sensation reach his eyes, unleashing a cascade of tears down his cheeks. All the stored emotions were released from the confined abyss of his soul. For the first time he felt he could breath.

"We are gonna be okay," he said looking at his daughter.

"She is not awake _yet_, I would wait till later on today or so," she continued placing her hand on his shoulder, "you should go freshen up and as soon as your wife is awake I'll make sure to inform you."

Jim looked at his daughter and back at the nurse realizing that she was right. He exhaled and lifted his arms letting the nurse take his daughter back into the incubator. The small baby shifted around the incubator and soon began to whimper softly. Jim placed his hand inside the openings to the incubator soothing her gently.

"I'll be back sweetie, I love you!" He kissed the tip of his fingers and placed on her cheek.

Jim stood up limping towards the wall to grab his crutches. He then turned to face the nurse pointing to the tag on the incubator.

"Her name is Bella, Isabella."

"It's a beautiful name," she said, "I'll make sure to put it on her card."

"Thanks!"

Jim walked out of the NICU feeling his heart light in his chest. Back at the waiting room his parents decided to bring him to rest at the hotel room they had booked. Pam's parents decided to stay behind in case Pam woke up. Walking out of the hospital was the hardest thing Jim had ever done. The drive to the hotel was short but Jim thought it was still way too far. Once in the room, he fell on the bed and quickly drifted off to sleep.

…………………

Jim woke up disoriented in the small hotel room looking up at the ceiling's criss-cross pattern. He rubbed his eyes open taking a deep breath in before getting up. He was startled by his mom sitting next to the bed holding a take-out box.

"Hi!"

"Hi," he looked around the room, "How long was I out?"

"Well, it's now…" she said looking down at her watch, "six thirty."

He turned his gaze to the window where he could see the fading sunrays in the horizon.

"Has Janet or Joe called?" He said sitting up.

"Yes, but Pam is not awake yet. They are on their way here… visiting hours resumed. I brought you some food and we picked up your travel bags at the hospital," she said pointing to the corner where the bags stood.

"Where is dad?"

"He is in the lobby watching a game."

Jim got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, not certain as to how he was going to shower with the brace on his leg. After skillfully maneuvering in with his leg resting on a chair, he let the scolding water drench his aching body. He felt each droplet hit his skin with increasing pressure. He stood motionless as the water alleviated the remaining burden from his shoulders. The steam engulfed the bathroom preserving the warm, comforting temperature. He hopped towards the door to let the hot hair slowly escape through a small aperture as he grabbed a towel. He walked back into the room feeling the cold air strike his body. When rummaging through their travel bags, Jim found a small teddy bear with the name _Bella_ embroided on it.

……………………

"_Oh look! It says Bella!" Pam said lifting a small teddy bear from the rack at the rest stop between Pennsylvania and New York. _

"_They all say Bella." Jim said looking at the flimsy teddy bear on Pam's hand, not giving a second glance before placing it together with the water bottles in front of the cashier. _

_The rain continued to pour as they ran back to the car shielding their heads with Jim's coat. Jim ran to the passenger side opening the door for Pam and helping her maneuver herself in the car with her protruding belly. She sat and waited for him to enter the car before snatching the plastic bag from his hands. _

"_She is going to love it!" She said excitedly. _

"_How do you know it's a she?" He asked as he backed out of the parking spot. _

"_Uhm… I don't know! Intuition?!"_

"_Well I hope you are right because my son will not have a teddy bear named Bella," he said sarcastically. _

_She smacked him gently in the arm. "Your mom told me about Mr. Snuggles." _

"_Yikes… 'forgot about that!" He said blushing from head to toe. _

"_You turned out…..ok… I guess." She couldn't contain her laughter and he soon joined her. _

……………

Jim briskly maneuvered with his crutches down the halls of the hospital, anxious to see Pam. He received the phone call informing that she woke up soon after he had finished eating. He then rushed down to the hotel lobby where his parents were already waiting for him. As he arrived in front of her room door, he swung it open almost tripping on himself. She was startled by his unruly entrance.

"Hello?"

"Hi…" He said almost too quickly.

Before she could say anything, he let his crutches fall to the ground and hopped over to the bed and began kissing her long and soft. He then proceeded kissing her cheeks, nose, and forehead. He missed her. She felt his soft, but firm lips kissing her, his scent now inundating her soul. She couldn't help the tears welling in her eyes. She cupped his face with her hands pulling him for another kiss. She missed him.

They embraced each other in the silence of the room. It was as if seeing each other after being worlds apart. He ran his hand through her hair kissing it lightly.

"She has your eyes," he whispered in her ear.

She smiled and closed her eyes gently releasing tears down her cheeks.

"…ten little fingers….ten little toes," he continued, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

"Is she ok?" she said whispering.

He could see her lips begin to quiver. "She is very tiny and still not breathing on her own yet," he turned pulling her chin to face him, "But she is a fighter, just like her mom."

…………………………

_Knock, knock!_

"Come in," Jim said stretching his neck to see who's at the door. The door opened slightly revealing Dr. Kane entering the room.

"Hi!" said the Dr. Kane.

"Hi" Jim and Pam said simultaneously.

"How are you feeling Mrs. Halpert?"

"A bit nauseous"

"It's a small side effect of the meds, but it will stop once you begin nursing."

"Can I see her?" she said imploringly.

"I don't see why not. I will send a nurse to take you."

The doctor quickly examined the monitors and left the room to finish his last nightly rounds. Soon after, a nurse entered the room pushing a wheel chair. She then walked over to the bed and lowered it at the push o a button. Jim then lifted Pam up and carefully lowered her onto the wheel chair. She winced as pain began pulsating down her torso. The nurse disconnected the monitors and placed an IV bag above the chair. Jim picked up the crutches from the floor and followed the nurse as she pushed Pam towards the NICU wing.

Once in front of the door the nurse scanned her card, opening the doors to reveal small incubators evenly spread out through the room. Pam glanced at the cards contained within the incubators and rested her eyes on _Bella Halpert. _The nurse pushed her further and stopped in front of the incubator. Pam widened her eyes as she placed her hand on the glass. She became overwhelmed by the image of her baby amongst so many tubes and wires. Jim noticed her discomfort a bend over in front of her taking her hand in his.

"Do you wanna hold her sweetie?"

She simply nodded, biting her lips.

The nurse opened the aperture to the incubator lifting the small baby and placing in her arms. The baby shifted a little, but quickly settled. Jim stood up and sat in a chair in front of her.

"She is so tiny," she said holding her hand.

"Yeah…" He said with a loving smile.

"Hi Bella…" She said looking at him, "she has your mouth!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm-hm… and your ears," she said running her fingers tenderly along her daughter's features.

"Sorry Bella!" Jim said placing a stray curl behind Pam's ears.

Bella began to shift, putting pressure on Pam who began to feel more pain down her abdomen. She winced and looked at Jim who extended his arms lifting Bella towads him.

"She can be a hand full," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah… she _is_ a Halpert!"

It didn't take long for the nurse to resume their visit. Jim carefully placed her back on the incubator kissing her head lightly. She became agitated and her soft moans began to fill the room. Pam placed her hand in the incubator rubbing her back gently until she lay peacefully asleep. Before they left Jim remembered the teddy bear he had in his coat pocket. He removed it and placed it in the incubator. Pam smiled. The nurse then began to escorted them back to the room.

…………….

Once settled in the room, Jim walked towards her bed and took her hand pressing tightly against his chest. She looked at him and smiled gently.

"Where are my mom and dad?" She asked.

"They went back to the hotel with my parents once visiting hours resumed. They will be back tomorrow."

"Oh!"

The room was silent.

Pam felt the muscles under Jim's shirt become tense. His eyes wondered and his grip felt tighter. She frowned and looked at him quizzically.

"I thought I lost you today," he said somberly.

Pam was silent.

"I-I never felt so empty in my entire life," his voice quivered, "You know, Bella was born and she was so beautiful and so fragile," he paused, "... Then the monitors began to beep nonstop….I thought I Lost you and I could never live with that." Tears were running down his face.

He kissed her.

"I'm going nowhere Halpert!" She said wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Good!" He said with a small chuckle, "I'm going nowhere too!"

"It's not like you have an option," she said pointing to his leg.

She moved slightly to the side patting an empty spot next to her. He climbed onto the petite bed and she curled up to his chest. He embraced her kissing her cheeks softly.

"I love you!"

"I love you too!"

…………………………….

Ok… so I need your feedback. I can either end here or explore parenthood with Jim and Pam. Please review and let me know your opinions soon!


	6. Chapter 6

I decide to continue with the JAM parenthood idea… I might have other chapters, but they will skip in time. I have to come up with more ideas to keep it interesting!

Disclaimer: I own nada…not even the shoes I'm wearing now!

_*flashback italicized _

……………………

Chapter 6

The drive between New York and the hospital became second nature to Jim. It was as if the car was in auto pilot once he reached route 80. Jim had returned to work two week after the accident and for the past week he had been driving up as often as possible to see Pam and Bella. Pam had already been discharged, but remained in hopes to begin breast-feeding Bella, still under observation. Pam's boss had been very understanding and arranged for her to finish the last month of her internship online.

Today was the last time Jim would drive to the hospital because Bella was being discharged. She was breathing on her own and her weight was within healthy rage. The excitement overwhelmed him. He constantly checked the rearview mirror to make sure her car seat was there as well as her diper bag. When he took the final exit to route 380 he knew it was a matter of minutes now.

Finding a parking space on that Saturday morning proved to be a difficult task. Jim was becoming impatient and the anticipation was eating him alive. When he finally found an empty spot he immediately maneuvered his way in grabbing the diper bag from the back seat. He entered the very familiar lobby and nodded politely to receptionist at the front desk, who recognized him from his frequent visits.

"Good morning Mr. Halpert! Big day today?" She said enthusiastically.

"Yep, I'm bringing my girls home!" He replied with a smile extending from ear to ear.

The elevator couldn't have traveled slower, stopping at the 2nd and 4th floor before finally reaching the 5th floor. Jim was the first one out as soon as the doors opened walking briskly through the very familiar hallways. He reached the room, pushed the door open, and stood listening to Pam mumbling to Bella.

"Where is daddy, uh? He was supposed to be here…" Pam let out a sigh. She was not annoyed or irritated, she just missed him. She proceeded to change Bella's diper when she felt someone embrace her from behind. She turned around startled, but adorned with a smile. Their eyes met and he pulled her for a gentle, long kiss. A tingly sensation traveled down Pam's spine as Jim outlined her figure, resting his hands on the small of her back. She pulled away slowly before breaking the kiss.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he replied. Jim than took a few steps towards the bed and bent over kissing Bella lightly.

"Hi sweetie…. I missed you so much."

"Since you are here…can you finish changing her? I could really use a bathroom break," Pam said placing a small peck on his cheek as she untangled herself from his hold.

"Yep," he said pulling her back for another passionate kiss.

"You have to stop doing that," she said with a chuckle before sprinting towards the bathroom.

Jim turned his attention to Bella, who was quietly shifting on the bed. He removed the diper, folded it into a ball and tossed it successfully into the trash. When he was finishing buttoning her one-piece he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said scooping Bella off the bed.

"Good morning Mr. Halpert," the nurse said with a few papers in hand.

"Oh… Good morning."

"I have the discharge papers," she said placing them on the table.

"Thank you!"

"No problem… I'll be back shortly to ensure the baby is accommodated comfortably and safely in the car seat."

"Of course!"

Pam reentered politely nodding to the nurse as she exited the room.

"Discharge papers?" she said rummaging through them on the table.

"Yep," he said cheery.

………………………

Pam glanced at Jim with Bella resting on his chest as she finished packing their stuff. Jim had become very attached to Bella and she knew the past week had been especially hard on him. Between work and driving back and forth, she knew he hadn't gotten much sleep lately.

"How was the business trip to Albany?" Pam asked.

"It was exhausting and I ended up staying there longer than I expected!" He said stroking Bella's back.

"When is your next trip?"

"Not until next month, perhaps?"

"Good!"

The nurse returned with balloons and a small pink box in hand. She handed the box to Pam as other hospital personals entered the room. They had followed their case since the beginning and were happy, but sadden to see them leave. Pam proceeded to quickly open the box revealing a silver rattle with the inscription: _Children are a handful sometimes, a heart full all the time...from Lehigh Valley State hospital. _

"Oh… Thank you everyone!" Pam said holding back tears.

"Yes, thank you," Jim said standing up with Bella asleep on his shoulder, "You have no idea how much this means to us!"

"We are eternally grateful for what each and everyone of you has done for our family. We wouldn't be here…" Pam said placing her hand over Bella, "If it wasn't for you!"

Jim took a deep breath and released it slowly as he heard Pam's words resonating in his ears. He carefully handed Bella over to Pam and proceeded to shake hands and hug those in the room. The nurse, approached them and said, "It's time!"

Wiping the happy tears off her eyes, Pam proceeded down the hallway holding Bella triumphantly in her arms. They stopped in front of the NICU one last time to thank the nurses and doctors. They also met with Dr. Kane, who insisted they send a picture of Bella so he could put on his wall.

"We will be sending lots of pictures," Pam said smiling.

"Good! She is my favorite," he said with a wink.

They proceeded to the car where the nurse carefully placed Bella in the car seat and secured her with the seat belt.

"You're good to go!" She said tapping the trunk of the car.

"Thank you!" Jim and Pam said waving to the nurse as she made her way back through the parking lot.

"Let's go home babe," Pam said with a smirk.

"Let's go home!"

…..............

The drive had been uneventful and Pam had drifted off to sleep as soon as they reached the highway. Jim constantly looked in the rearview mirror checking Bella with every move and sound she made. They stopped shortly at a rest stop to refuel and to pick up a few snacks. Once they arrived home Pam was surprised by all the boxes and gift bags spread throughout the living room.

"Wow! What is all this?" She asked

"Well, they had planned a surprise baby shower in Scranton… but we never made it!" He said placing the car seat on the floor before kneeling down to remove Bella. "So, once Bella was okay they decided to bring it all up."

"It's a lot of presents!"

"Yep, I wanted to wait for you before opening them."

"Ok… so you go make us lunch and I'll put Bella down," she said taking Bella from Jim's arms, "Then we can go through them all."

"Grilled cheese?"

"Yes!"

Pam brought Bella to the nursery and laid her down on the changing table. She contemplated the honeydew colored walls knowing it had been the perfect color for the nursery_._ She also noticed pictures placed on frames that had been previously empty. She always imagined the pictures within the frames would be of her baby smiling or of her sucking on her toes. But, they portrayed a fragile baby engulfed by tubes and wires in an incubator. One particular picture caught Pam's attention.

………..

"_We are going to try removing Bella from the respirator today," said Dr .Kane, "She has shown improvements and we think she might be ready."_

"_What happens if she isn't?" Pam said nervously. _

"_If her breathing is still shallow, we will re-intubate her."_

_Pam took a deep breath. "I need my husband to be here, he should be arriving anytime after seven." _

"_I understand…uhm… have a nurse page me as soon as he arrives."_

"_I'll, thank you."_

_Pam sat back on the bed and looked at the clock on the wall, 5:34 pm. Jim must be leaving work now, she thought. She immediately picked up her phone. It rang twice before he answered. _

"_Hi!"_

"_Hey…"_

"_What's wrong?" He said sensing her dismal tone._

"_Nothing… it's just… they want to removed Bella from the respirator today."_

"_That is good news Bees!"_

"_I guess… I'm nervous … what if she doesn't…."_

"_No, no…. she will…. I know she will," he said attempting to comfort Pam, even though he felt his heart tighten in his chest. "I just left work and I should be there soon."_

"_Okay… I love you!"_

"_Love you too!"_

_Jim arrived around 6:50 pm and Pam had a nurse page Dr. Kane. He met with them explaining the procedure and possible complications. Pam held Jim's hand, squeezing it tightly with every word the doctor pronounced. Afterward, they walked to the NICU where a staff of nurses awaited them. They extracted Bella from the incubator and placed her on a small open gurney. _

"_We will disconnect the ventilator …. and if the monitor…" he pointed to a blue screen, "Reads below 35 breaths per minute we will have to re-intubate her."_

_Jim nodded and looked down at Pam, who was biting her lips. The monitor read 50 breaths per minute and as soon the ventilator was turned off the number began decreasing drastically. _

_48, 45, 40, 39…._

_Jim approached the gurney and scooped Bella up, startling some of the nurses. _

"_C'mon Bella," he whispered._

_The nurses began moving toward Jim, but Dr. Kane lifted his hand, immobilize them. _

_38, 36, 36, 35…._

"_Hey… you can do this…" he said kissing her tiny hand while looking at the monitor. _

_Pam approached with tears in her eyes. "Hey Bell… I need you to breathe... Just …" _

_All of a sudden she was interrupted by Bella letting out a huge shriek followed by piercing cries._

_35, 37, 42, 45, 46, 46…_

"_Atta girl…" Jim said letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. _

"_Good Bell...good!" Pam said inundating her with small kisses_

"_She is doing great," the doctor said smiling, "We will keep her here overnight, but we should be able to relocate her to you room tomorrow Mrs. Halpert."_

"_Thank you!" she said with tears flowing down her cheeks. _

"_It's tradition to take a picture every time a baby is successfully removed from the ventilator, may I?" asked a nurse._

"_Sure!"_

"_Say cheese…"_

_Click_

_Jim sat down holding Bella's small figure. Pam rubbed Bella's back gently soothing her until her cries were no more than soft moans. Pam and Jim's eyes met, overflowing with tears. Jim used his free hand to cup Pam's face pulling her to a kiss. _

"_We are gonna be ok," Jim said confidently. _

"_I know," she said with chuckle, "Why wouldn't we?"_

………………

Pam continued to change Bella, loosening the side straps of the diper as she kissed her belly gently. Bella in turn shifted around the changing table making the job almost impossible. Once she was done she scooped her up and walked to the rocking chair.

Jim had finished lunch and wondered what was taking Pam so long. He placed the grilled chesses back in the toaster oven and made his way to the nursery. He entered the room seeing tears rolling down Pam's eyes.

"Sweetie what is wrong?"

"It just hurts a little...breast-feeding."

"Oh Pam…" Jim kneeled down kissing her forehead.

"The doctor said it would get better."

Jim stood there rubbing gentle circles on Pam's back until Bella was satisfied.

"Let me take her… I will burp her." He said picking up the sleepy baby from Pam's arms.

………………..

Jim walked back to the living room with a baby monitor in hand. He placed it on the coffee table and went back to the kitchen to grab the sandwiches from the oven. He walked to the living rom and sat next to Pam on the couch.

"One grill cheese, no crust, cut in half."

"Why, thank you!"

"Ok…" he said with his mouth full, "Where do we start?"

"Pick one!"

"Ok… I like this blue one…. It's from Oscar," he began pulling the tissue paper out of the bag, "It's a plush baby blanket."

"That is soooo cute!" she said pulling the soft fabric to her face. "Get that yellow box!"

"Ok… it's from Phyllis and it's a… baby scrap book!"

"Oh…How thoughtful!"

After opening all the presents they sat on the couch exhausted. Pam had separated all clothing articles to be washed and Jim had loaded the dishwasher with the new bottles and other accessories.

"I think we have enough bottles to last us a lifetime!" He said.

"I know! I might just sell some and make a profit!" she said resting her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her hair turning to face her. "Michael was very thoughtful to send you a breast pump!"

"Shut it Halpert!" she said slapping his arms.

"Can we just sit here for the rest of the afternoon?" He said resting his head on hers.

"Yep!"

They were startled by crying coming from the monitor on the coffee table.

"Hold that thought Halpert," Pam said getting up.

She walked back to the nursery and lifted Bella off the crib checking her diper. She returned to the living room with Bella and took a seat next to Jim. As soon as Pam laid Bella cross Jim's chest she stopped fussing and curled into a small ball. Pam then snuggled against Jim, and he enveloped her with one arm and held Bella with his other. It was the first time they were at peace, listening to the gentle breeze sway the curtains against the patio door. They looked at each other with tender smiles.

"Are you ready for this Bees?"

"Absolutely I am."

........................

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	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for everyone who reviewed….

Angst coming our way…

Disclaimer: I own nothing don't sue me…

…………………….

Chapter 7

Jim and Pam lay in bed feeling the morning air creep beneath the sheets dispersing goose-bumps over their nude bodies. Pam moved closer into his chest as he extended his arm around her waist. They contemplated the ceiling fan with their clothing garments dangling from its blades. The baby monitor on the night stand resonated as a babbling baby notified them she was awake.

"You didn't hear it?" He said mockingly; his voice still husky.

"No I didn't Jim!" She said uninterested.

"She is totally calling for you….m-mama-maa," he said with a chuckle.

Pam felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She lifted her head to look at the clock on the night stand, 7:05 am. She began to untangle herself from Jim pulling the sheets over her body as she got up from the bed. Feeling the cool air penetrate his skin, Jim reached for the sheets, but it slipped through his fingers as Pam walked out of the room. She gazed back, marveling at his long body curling into a ball, much like Bella.

"Good morning sweetie," Pam said approaching the crib.

As soon as she saw Pam Bella became overly excited. She held tightly to the wooden bars of the crib bouncing up and down before finally extending her arms into the air.

"C'mon, let's wake up daddy!"

She scooped Bella up and walked back to the bedroom where Jim had managed to snatch his boxes and a flimsy shirt off the floor. Pam sat Bella on the bed and she began to crawl towards Jim, who was lying on the opposite side. He felt her small hands pat his back almost forcefully. He turned around surprising her with butterfly kisses on her belly. Her giggles filled the room like a sweet fragrance on a summer day.

Jim finally got up lifted Bella to the floor. She stod hesitantly for few seconds before collapsing to the floor.

"Almost!" Jim said.

After her internship ended, Pam got a job at a renowned graphic design company. The hours were flexible and she was able to work mostly from home. Her boss had been very impressed with her work and encouraged her to submit it to a local galley. After months of waiting she received a confirmation letter notifying that her paintings had been accepted. Today was the opening weekend and she couldn't be more anxious.

"So, when should I be arriving at the gallery?"Jim said walking towards the bathroom. He can hear Bella's tiny hands making slapping sounds as he crawls after him.

"Around four… I want to introduce you and Bella to everyone before the public arrives."

"Okay, should I wait for your parents?" Jim said picking Bella off the floor.

"Yes, they should be here around three," Pam said peeking her head outside the shower curtain. Jim approached and kisses her softly.

"You are gonna be great!"

"Thanks!"

Jim headed to the kitchen placing Bella on a blue-green highchair. She began to fuss extending her chubby arms into the air as soon as he restrained her. Jim overlooked her gestures and headed further into the kitchen. She then pouted her lips and began whimpering. Jim frowned at her reaction and returned, detaching the white tray and unfastening the straps off the chair. Bella stopped crying and sat looking at Jim with watery eyes.

"What's wrong sweetie?" He bent over and picked her up, kissing her wet cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Pam said walking into the kitchen.

"I don't know… I think the chair is hurting her?" He said checking her legs and belly.

"She never had a problem with it," she said lifting Bella from Jim's arms, "She is getting so heavy!"

"Yeah, maybe she has out grown it," he said with a lopsided smile. "You look beautiful, by the way!"

"Really? Thank you." She brushed her lips softly against his.

Since it was a beautiful Saturday morning, they decided to have breakfast out on the patio. Pam only picked at her pancakes though, she was too anxious to eat. Jim pretended not to see her plate with half-eaten pancakes. She then got up and began clearing the patio table, thinking her low appetite had gone unnoticed.

"If I don't leave now, I'm going to be late!" she announced collecting the cups and plates.

"Do you want to grab lunch later?"

"I don't know, I might work right through lunch… the exhibit isn't ready."

"Ok," Jim said pouting his lips. He followed her to the kitchen carrying Bella, who was completely engulfed in syrup.

"Bella's dress is hanging behind the door and your suit jacket is at the cleaners."

"Ook," he said with a lopsided smile resting his hand on the small of her back. She stands on the tip of her toes and reaches to give him a kiss, he lingers just enough to send chills down her spine. They stare intently at each other before being interrupted by Bella sandwiched between them.

"I love you too Bell, be good for daddy," she says tickling her bundle of joy. She walks out and Jim can hear the sound of her heels beating down the stairs. He turns his focus to Bella and chuckles as she rests her sticky hands on the wild curls forming on her head.

"Let's get you cleaned up!"

……………………

After Jim gave Bella a bath and took a shower himself, they headed out to run various errands. He needed to go to the cleaners and perhaps get a new highchair for Bella. Bella was the most talkative she had ever been during the car ride. Jim couldn't comprehend most, but he was amused to see her begin to form words. He drove by the local Supercenter and decided to go in. He took Bella out of the car seat and proceeded towards the entrance. It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was now high in the sky and he could feel its warmth on his skin. The gentle spring breeze played with Bella's curls reminding Jim of whom she got them from.

He got a shopping cart and placed Bella on the seat. He began going down the aisles stopping every now and then to grab something off the shelves. He reached the baby section and began browsing for highchairs. There were so many types and colors that suddenly the task overwhelmed him. He was almost deciding on a Graco highchair when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

"Halpert?"

He looked up surprised to see Roy making his way down the aisle.

"Hey man," Jim said extending his hand to shake Roy's, "How is it going?"

"Good, good...nothing to complain 'bout… visiting my cousin for the weekend."

"Oh nice."

"You live here now?" Roy asked hesitantly.

"Yeah…. Got promoted to cooperate."

"Oh good…."

"Thanks"

There was an awkward silence. Roy wanted to ask about Pam. He hadn't heard from her since his encounter with Jim at Poor Richard's. He wasn't interested or anything, he just wanted to know if she was doing ok. The silence was quickly interrupted by Bella dropping her Sippy cup on the floor. Jim turned and bent over to pick it up revealing Bella sitting on the cart.

"Oh! Is she…uhm….." Roy was surprised. But he didn't need to question; she was the spit image of her mother.

Jim nodded placing the cup back in the cart before lifting Bella off the seat.

"Roy, meet Bella," Jim said brushing a few stray curls from her rosy cheeks. Bella's demeanor faded and she quickly retreated to Jim's chest. "She is a bit shy around strangers."

_Even that she inherited from her mother, _Roy thought. He couldn't take his eyes off her; she was beautiful. Her small figure curled up in Jim's chest, looking straight at him, made him wonder how his life would have played out if he had married Pam. "She is beautiful," he finally spoke.

"Thank you."

"So…" he finally got the courage to ask, "How's Pam?"

"She is good….. _A_ _graphic_ _designer_ now…" He said it almost too proud.

"That is awesome!"

"Yeah…"

Awkward silence.

"I got to get going," Roy said it almost too quickly. "Nice meeting you…."

"Bella," Jim interrupted.

"Alright, bye."

With that he was gone and Jim chuckled to himself holding the winning trophy in his arms, Bella. He picked what he thought was a roomier highchair and proceeded to pay paid for it. He saw Roy a couple more time in line at the registers, but then he was gone. Jim headed back home after stopping at the cleaners to get his jacket. He entered his apartment carrying a sleeping Bella in his arms, the dry-cleaning, and the highchair. He was amazed with his new ability to juggle various items while carrying Bella. He placed her down in her crib and went back to the living room to assemble the chair. He took forever to put the highchair together. It wasn't long before he heard soft cries coming from the baby monitor.

"Hey sweetie, c'mere," he picked her up walking back to the living room. He could see that she was still sleepy, but probably hungry. He went to the kitchen and made her a bottle, which she took almost immediately. He heard his phone ringing but didn't bother to answer. Once Bella was satisfied and sleeping again, he brought her back to the crib and went to check his phone. There was a message from Pam's dad.

_Hi Jim, it's Joe. Just calling to let you know we are going to be a little late. So don't wait for us, we will meet you at the gallery at 5:00. _

He looked at his watch, 1:30 pm. He tried calling Pam, but she didn't pick up. He figured she was busy and probably didn't have her phone. So he turned the TV on and drifted off to sleep on the couch.

………....

It was almost four and Jim was still not out of the house. He couldn't find his other shoe. He remembered he was wearing them before Pam _attacked_ him last night. The memories still made his knees weak. _Under the couch, _he though. And there is was!

The drive was uneventful and he was able to arrive with time to spare, at least that's what he kept telling himself. He removed Bella from the car seat and proceeded towards the double doors. He was greeted by a young woman.

"Good afternoon!" She said reaching for Bella's hand, "She is absolutely adorable." Bella was wearing an off-white dress with matching hair clips, which Jim had tried his best to put on.

"Thank you!"

"Do you have your tickets?"

"Uhm…" Jim frowned. He didn't remember if Pam had left any tickets for him. "I don't…. my wife Pam…"

"Oh my god! You're Pam's husband? Why didn't you say it earlier! I'm Judy"

"Nice to meet you! I'm Jim and this is…"

"Bella! I know… follow me!" He walked down a long hallway a few steps behind Judy.

"Pam!" Judy called. Pam turned around meeting Jim's gaze. He looked at her intently admiring her figure as her dress hugged her in all the right places.

"Hey!" she greeted him with a kiss.

"Hi! You look amazing," he whispered in her ear. His warm breath against her skin sent her mind wondering. Bella quickly extended her arms as soon as she saw Pam.

"Hi Bell, mommy missed you today!" She said lifting Bella from Jim's arms. "What did daddy do to your hair?" she teased and they laughed. She quickly fixed Bella's hair clips and walked back towards the small group crowded around a sculpture.

"Hey everyone," her voice a little louder, turning the crowd's attention to her, "This is my husband Jim and my daughter Isabella."

There was an orchestrated _"Hi,"_ followed by _"uhhs" _and "_awws" _as their gaze fixated on Bella. Pam tugged on Jim's jacket pulling him towards an older gentleman standing at a corner.

"Jim, this is my boss Jon," she said smiling.

"Hi, nice to meet you!" Jim said shaking his hand.

"This one," Jon pointed to Pam, "Is very talented!" Jim glanced over to Pam who blushed from head to toe.

"You bet she is," he said putting his arms around her. They walked around the gallery and Pam continued to proudly introduce them to everyone. They finally reached the hors d'oeuvres table, filled with all sort of cheese and crackers.

"Where are mom and dad?" she said picking the assorted cheese with a toothpick.

"Your dad left me a message saying they would be running late. The will be here around five."

"Oh ok… here," she said lifting Bella to his arms, "Take her. She is getting heavy and these heels aren't helping!"

"C'mere Bell," he said pulling her closer to his chest. "Hey, let's see mommy's paintings!"

"Ok…" Pam said timidly. She knew he would love her work, he always did. But she always felt hesitant, for his opinion mattered most. They walked to the other side of the gallery down the same long hallway past the entrance. Once they reached her paintings, Jim stood in silence mesmerized by her talent.

"Say something," she implored.

"It's….. AMAZING!" He couldn't help but kiss her. His actions spoke more than words.

It was two abstract paintings; both alluded to events that took place in their lives. One depicted two shadows embracing in a dark room and the other portrayed two figures in what seemed to be a rest area. There were amazing. It was hard to acknowledge the presence of the figures among the array of color and contracting contours. One had to stop and think beyond the painting to grasp its meaning.

"This is incredible," Jim continued, "I'm extremely honored to be your husband!"

"It means a lot…" she said holding back the tears.

………………

Soon enough the public began to fill the gallery. The evening was going great and Pam couldn't be happier. She went to change Bella's diper when she saw the LCD light blinking on her phone. She picked up the phone seeing three new voice messages. She called her voicemail and listened to the messages as she changed Bella.

"_Hey Pam, it's dad. We are running late and we should be arriving around 5:00. Love you!"_

She looked at her watch, 5:43 pm, and deleted the message proceeding to the next.

"_Pam it's Judy, I need to know where you are. Pick up your phone!!!"_

She chuckled and proceeded to listen to the last one.

Jim waited outside the bathroom browsing through an art magazine. He was startled by a _thud_ coming from inside the bathroom. He walked to the door opening it slowly.

"Pam?"

She didn't respond.

"Pam, are you ok?" He entered the bathroom finding Pam collapsed on the floor crying.

"M-my d-da…d…"

…………………………

Cliff hanger!

To be continued………….

Review please…. They are writing fuel!


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for all the kind reviews! You guys are great!

Note: Pam's parents are separate

Disclaimer: I own nothing don't sue me…

.........

Chapter 8

Jim drove somberly through the very familiar roads on his way to Scranton. He gazed sporadically at the rearview mirror checking his sleeping daughter spilled over her car seat. Pam sat on the passenger seat with her knees tucked to her chest, listening to the wind whistle through the slightly opened window. The cool air diffusing through the car became a soothing remedy for her runaway tears.

After receiving the devastating news, they exited the gallery unnoticed. Jim suggested they go home to pack before leaving. She only nodded and followed him out. She hadn't said much since their departure and Jim hadn't urged her to. He understood she needed this time to process. The comfortable silence was only interrupted by Pam's cell phone insistently ringing. By the fourth ring Jim became somewhat annoyed.

"Are you going to answer it?" Jim said alternating his focus between her and the road.

"I-I…" Before she could finish he gently grabbed the phone from her tight grip and flipped it open.

"Hello….Yes we are…. About forty-five minutes….Not yet… Okay, thanks." He flipped the phone close and placed it back in her hands. Jim let his hand linger with hers before returning to the steering wheel.

"You mom wanted to know how far away we were," he said matter-of-factly. She only gazed out the passenger window observing the quick passing trees. Jim inhaled deeply, letting out a sigh.

"Pam," he said softly, "Look at me honey." She slowly turned her head to face him.

"We are going to get through this."

Arriving at Scranton Mercy hospital brought vivid memories to Pam. She remembered when she fell off her bike and had three stitches on her forehead. She remembered the concerned look on her father's face as he carried her through those same doors with blood gushing down her cheeks. The cut had been only surface deep, but her dad insisted on taking her to the hospital. He was only looking out for her.

They were the last ones to arrive, joining the rest of the Beesley's in the small waiting room. Jim carried Bella asleep over his shoulders with a blanket covering her small figure. They were welcomed by Pam's mom, Janet, who embraced Pam tightly in her arms. She ran her hand affectionately over the small bundle on Jim's chest before embracing him as well. Pam continued to walk further into the room greeting the rest of her family. Jim seized the opportunity and led Janet to the corner of the room.

"What happened?" He said softly.

"Joe was coming over to pick me up and said he was going to be late. I waited until five, but he never showed up. I called his apartment, his cell phone, nothing!" Tears were threatening to spill over her eyes. "I decided to go check on him. When I got to his apartment, I saw his body lying on the floor. I called the ambulance, but….."

"What have the doctors said?" Jim asked hesitantly.

"They said he suffered an aneurysm."

"Oh…" Jim didn't know what else to say.

"How's she taking this?" Janet motioned her head towards Pam.

"She's been awfully quiet."

……………

The silence in the waiting room was seldom interrupted by the humming of the air conditioner. The rowdy sound soothed Pam, who sat holding Bella tightly to her chest. Jim sat next to her holding two cups of coffee, occasionally sipping his. Pam's sister, Anna, paced along her fiancé Matt, while Janet whispered softly to other family members in the room. They waited for what seemed like forever before the doctor finally entered the room. Everyone agglomerated by the door waiting for him to speak.

"The aneurysm put a lot of pressure on the surrounding brain tissue causing a rupture of the blood supply. Vital tissue was lost along the subarachnoid region," the doctor explained.

"Will he recover?" Anna asked naively.

"I'm afraid not," he continued, "That is why I'm here." Everyone looked puzzled. Pam leaned back into Jim's chest.

"Mr. Beesley is in a vegetated state, kept alive by machines," he said matter-of-factly, "You have to make a decision as to whether you want to keep him in his current state or remove the life support."

Silence prevailed.

Pam felt the room spin and her knees concede from under her. Jim kept a tight embrace around her waist as her body sank rapidly into his. Bella shifted slightly in Pam's arms, perceiving a change in her grip.

"I recommend that you go home," the doctor spoke softly now, "And talk this through until you've made a conscious decision."

"Thank you doctor," Janet said quietly.

"Wait," Pam said as the doctor stepped out of the room, "Can we see him?"

"Yes."

Jim stayed behind with Bella while Janet, Pam, and Anna followed the doctor a few steps behind. They reached the room and walked quietly in. The scene was not disturbing or shocking as Pam had imagined. As far as she knew, her dad was only sleeping. There were tubes and wires, but what stood out was his peaceful demeanor as he lay on that hospital bed. They took turns talking to him and holding his hand before exiting the room.

In the car ride to Janet's house Jim felt compelled to address the issue, but was interrupted by Bella's cries from the back seat. He glanced at the rearview mirror seeing his daughter fussing and her face turning all shades of red. Pam turned back grabbing Bella's pacifier and placing it back in her mouth. Her cries subsided for a moment before welling up again.

"Almost there Bell…" Jim said imploringly. She wouldn't budge.

They finally reached the house and Pam quickly removed Bella from the car seat, still whimpering as loud as before. Jim grabbed their bags and proceeded to the door. Inside, Janet led them to Pam's old room. They sat silently listening to Bella cry.

"She's _not_ happy," Jim noted.

"Everything is unfamiliar to her," Pam said rocking her from side to side.

"Why don't you go down stairs while I attempt to put her down?" Jim said running his hand through her hair. Pam looked at him suspiciously, but didn't think twice before handing Bella, clinging on her neck, over to Jim. Jim wanted Pam to talk to her mother because this was unfamiliar territory to him. He wanted her to unleash the feelings he knew was bottled inside.

Pam headed downstairs while Jim gave Bella a quick bath and fed her a bottle. She guzzled the bottle down, but lay fully awake in his arms. He concluded that since Bella drifted on and off sleep from the time they departed from New York until they left the hospital, she was not sleeping anytime soon. He headed back downstairs finding Janet, Pam, and Anna, seated around the kitchen table. Pam seemed infuriated, on the verge tears.

"That's it?" Pam questioned pounding her fists on the table.

"Honey, he wouldn't have wanted it," her mother said running her hand through her hair.

"He would have wanted to fight!" She said before storming off the kitchen.

Janet exhaled audibly.

Jim observed Pam running past him up the stairs before slamming the bedroom door shut. He looked at Janet puzzled.

"We've decided to remove Joe from life support. That's no quality of life," she said with tears rolling down her eyes.

Jim just nodded placing Bella in Janet's arms before heading upstairs. He knocked on the door and waited for a response. Nothing. He insisted, this time hearing Pam's quiet sobs from inside. He let himself in and walked towards the bed where Pam's body curled into a ball. She felt the bed shift as he pulled her close to his chest. Jim tenderly rubbed circles on her back until he felt her sobs subside. A comfortable silence reigned in the small bedroom. Pam found sleep in her emotionally and physically exhausted state. He carefully tucked her in, kissing her forehead before heading back downstairs. As soon as Bella saw him she extended her chubby arms in his direction.

"Is she ok?" Janet asked.

"She is asleep now," he said lifting Bella to him.

The kitchen was silent.

"Jim…" she said hesitantly, "You understand right?"

Jim just nodded. He knew that it was the right decision.

"Pam was never good at letting things go," Janet said sipping on her tea.

"She needs time." He said with a lopsided smile.

"Yeah…. We all do."

……………………

Time proved to be no remedy. With each passing day Pam recoiled further into herself, speaking rarely to those around her. Jim tried various times to reach out, but she was too far from his scope. She only addressed him when Bella was concerned or when they argued. The arguments had become more frequent and usually sparked at the mention of her father. She couldn't accept that Jim had agreed to remove her father from life support.

"_Sweetie listen, he wouldn't have wanted that life!"_

"_You don't know what he wanted!" Pam gestured exaggeratedly. _

"_I wouldn't want that for myself."_

"_You would just…give up?" Tears were welling up in her eyes. _

"_Pam… you know that's not…." Before he could finish she had already left the room. _

……….

It was day of the funeral. The sky was clear and the spring air was cool. The breeze toyed with the small flowers blooming among tree branches. Pam sat quietly next to Jim, shuffling her feet over the damp grass. She flattened her black skirt and pushed stray curls behind her ears. As the ceremony came to an end, she stood up and placed a thorny rose over the casket before walking away. Jim, Janet, and other family members soon followed.

Jim drove by his parent's to pick up Bella who had stayed with his mom before returning to the house. He lingered a while longer wanting to escape the enduring crowd at Janet's house. After a long day, it was time to finally head home. Night had fallen quickly and everyone had begun to filter out of the house. Jim abandoned the tumult and headed upstairs to start packing, but found Pam seated at the foot of the bed.

"Hey"

Pam was silent.

"Want to start packing?"

She nodded.

He took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet. He removed two suitcases from under the bed and lifted them to the bed. They stood quietly folding and organizing their belongings. Jim watched Pam from the periphery of his eye, attempting to read her body language. He hadn't felt her warmth in over a week and the separation devastated him. She had created a protective wall around herself that even he couldn't breach. The constant silence around them frustrated Jim.

"Wallace wants me to drive to Nashua this week," he said attempting to ignite a conversation.

"Oh…" she said.

"I was thinking maybe we could go together, you, me Bella….. Like a vacation, you know? I think we can use one."

Pam was silent.

"Paul told me about these great cabins…." But before he could finish Pam had distracted herself with Bella's toys in the playpen.

"Pam?" He asked, "Are you listening to me?"

"What?" She said inattentively

"Nothing," He said walking out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

………….

The drive home was long. Jim was sure it had been over three hours and not forty-five minutes since they left Scranton. He tapped on the steering wheel, looked over the rearview mirror, and changed radio stations to trying to keep time from standing still. He hadn't glanced at Pam once since they entered the car. He was sure she didn't look at him either. Jim knew she was dealing with intolerable pain and felt guilty for being angry with her

As soon as he parked the car in the garage, he let out a sigh. He was finally home. The last week and a half had been brutal on all of them. "_Maybe_," he thought, being at home would end the tempest and bring back calming seas. He removed Bella from the car seat and followed behind Pam towards the stairs. Even Bella was smiling, happy to be home. Jim entered the apartment handing Bella to Pam before heading back to the car to remove the suitcases from the trunk. When he returned he found Pam seated on the kitchen table crying.

"Are you ok?" Jim wasn't expecting her to give him a coherent answer.

"No." she said amongst tears. Jim stopped halfway down the hallway and made his way back to the kitchen.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said cautiously.

"I think I need time."

"Yeah," he said pulling a chair closer to her, "I think we all need time to process…"

"No," she interrupted, "I n-need time _alone_."

"What? What are you saying?" there was a knot in the back of his throat and heat began bubbling through the surface of his skin. Pam didn't answer. She didn't have too; Jim knew the meaning behind her words. But, he couldn't accept it. He had to hear coming from her lips.

"Pam? Answer me!" He cupped his hand under her chin and lifted her face to him staring deeply into her eyes.

"I-I need time," she repeated. The tears were rolling freely down her cheeks as well as his. Jim pushed the chair back dragging it abrasively across the wooden floors. He paced around the kitchen for a few moments before heading to the nursery. He found his daughter lying on the crib, clutching onto her blanket. He picked her up and held her tightly. He kissed her softly leaving wet trails of his tears on her cheeks. "_I love you," _he whispered before putting her down. He walked back to the living room and picked one of the suitcases off the floor.

"I'll be in Nashua," he said dryly before walking out.

Pam's body shuddered as the door slammed behind Jim. She collapsed to the floor in a puddle of sobs, dreading the feeling rising inside her. She had forgotten what it felt to see Jim walking out of her life. It was a feeling she had come to regret.

………………………

To be continued…

Reviews= writing fuel + bliss


	9. Chapter 9

Hi, I apologize for the wait. This chapter was getting really long so I decided to make it into two different chapters. So, chapter 10 will be posted soon.

On a side note, I went to see Angela Kinsey URI and it was AWSOME! She was extremely funny and extremely nice. She did a meet and greet at the end and I got her autograph and a picture! Best day ever! =)

Thank you for all who reviewed…..You guys are great!

Disclaimer: NBC and all the rich people own everything!

…………………….

Chapter 9

Jim lay in a lonely hotel room replaying the past three weeks in his head. There was a phone call, a hospital, a funeral, and silence. His trip to Nashua lasted a few days and since his return he had opted to completely occupy himself. He didn't want time to think, reflect, or ponder on what had happened. He knew if he surrendered to that precipice it would be hard to return tonight was impossible not to surrender. The bed was be too big, the room too vast, and the lights too bright. The emptiness and the stillness plagued him. He turned to the television as a remedy, but the drone only echoed through his dismal emptiness. He looked at the clock on the nightstand, 7:05 am; he had been awake for the past four and a half hours. Jim reached for his phone, fiddled in his hand, and placed it down. Again. "_Two weeks, three days, and nine hours," _he mumbled.

Pam lay in bed watching her daughter's chest rise and fall in a peaceful cadence. It was a habit Pam had fallen into whenever sleep denied its presence. She would put Bella down in her crib, wait a few minutes, scoop her up, and carry Bella to bed with her. It was the only way she coped with the empty spot beside her, within her. But Bella's akin resemblance to _him_ as she coiled into a small bundle, pulled tightly onto her chest. She sometimes forced herself to place Bella back in her crib, only to return and be engulfed by _his_ scent impregnating her bed sheets.

…………_.._

Pam was up early; sipping tea, nestled on the couch. She glanced over to the kitchen table where assorted balloons, streamers, and other decorative paraphernalia peaked through plastic bags. Today was Bella's birthday. Pam had contemplated on postponing the celebration, but chose otherwise. It comforted her that her sister Anna was driving up to help her with the preparations.

Pam was startled by a sudden knock on the door. She gradually untangled herself from a blanket and slowly made her way to the door. "Anna!" Pam pulled her to a hug, "I didn't expect you here this early."

"I know! I thought I'd surprise you!"

"Job well done!"

"So where is my beautiful niece?"

"She's still asleep… she had a rough night," Pam said yawning.

"Looks like you did too!"

"Well, if she's up, I'm up!"

Anna followed Pam over to the couch and sat across from her. Anna was the only person Pam still talked to, and Anna cherished the privileged.

"Where is Matt?" Pam asked.

"He is driving down with mom later…" She hesitated before speaking again, "I want to talk to you...."

"Talk about what?" Pam said indifferently.

"Are you ok?" Anna asked leaning forward on the couch.

"I'm fine," Pam brushed her off.

Silence.

"How's Jim?"

Pam winced at the sound of his name, but quickly collected herself. "You can ask him yourself when he comes later."

"Have you guys talked lately?"

"Sure… whenever he comes to see Bella."

Anna knew she was pushing Pam. She knew how much it pained her to talk about Jim. But Anna also knew that it hurt her more not to be with him. They sat in silence, on opposite couches, hearing cries ascending from the baby monitor. Pam got up and made her away to the nursery. Anna followed her a few steps behind. She watched as Pam gently pulled Bella out of the crib.

"C'mere Bell…" Pam said under her breath.

Anna observed Bella fuss in her mother's arm. She had grown since the last time she'd seen her. Her legs dangled past Pam's waist line and her curls were longer and more defined. She defiantly took a lot from Pam, but her build was shaping into _his._

"She is _not_ a morning person," Anna chuckled, "She got that from you!"

"I don't know about that," Pam said hesitantly, "She is usually pretty good with mornings. She's just…." Pam lingered in thought before turning her attention back to Bella, "Let's get you changed!"

……………….

Jim waited impatiently as the elevator made its way down to the hotel lobby. He then quickly walked to his car unable to contend the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He was going _home_. Even if it was just for one day, it was enough to make him happy. His car had been the closest thing to home since he _left_. There were toys scattered in the back seat, Bella's sippy cup resting in the cup-holder, Pam's glasses hanging from the rearview mirror, and _their _sweet aroma still lingering. He would spent hours driving aimlessly, avoiding the dreadfulness of the hotel room, before finally surrendering to sleep.

He drove up the familiar road, walked up the familiar steps, and heard a familiar cry coming from inside the apartment. He fiddled with the keys in his pocket, but decided to knock. He knocked once, twice, three times before hearing someone wiggle door knob.

"Hi Jim!"

"Hey Anna…" Jim looked past her stretching his neck sideways trying to locate the source of the clamor.

"Come in, Pam is giving Bella a bath."

"Oh… thanks!" Jim cautiously headed towards the bathroom pushing the door ever so slightly. He drummed his fingers to the door attempting to get Pam's attention, but Bella's screams were overwhelming. He slowly bent down next to Pam touching her shoulder with the tip of his fingers.

"Oh… Hi," His proximity startled her. She could smell the distinctive scent his aftershave.

"Hi…" He said with a lopsided smile, "What do we have here?"

"She is not in a good mood today." She said shampooing the last of the oatmeal from Bella's hair. "She didn't sleep at all last night."

Jim's heart broke at the thought of his daughter needing him and he wasn't there. "Here, let me take her," he said pushing his sleeves to his elbows. Pam stood up, lifting the screaming child to him, but lingered by the door observing Jim bathe her. He was very attentive and didn't seem to mind the splash fest staged by his daughter. When he finished he wrapped Bella with a towel and pulled her close to his chest. Pam quietly sneaked back to the kitchen before he was made aware of her presence.

"So… I thought the balloons could go here and the streamers…." Anna stopped mid sentence noticing Pam's inattention. "Pam? Are you listening?" Anna waved her hands in front of her.

"Yeah…..the streamers… they are great!" Pam replied walking over to the counter, resting her head in her hands.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah… just tired!"

"Why don't you go lie down? I think I can handle this!"

"Don't tempt me…"

"But before you do," Anna interrupted, "Can you get me a pair of scissors?"

"Sure!"

Pam began looking through the kitchen drawers and cabinets, but with no luck. She searched through the bathroom, but couldn't find it there either. She walked into the bedroom and was surprised to find Jim standing there shirtless.

"Oh… Sorry… I was just…uh…" She could feel the blood circulating through her veins.

"My shirt was soaked so…." He began explaining.

"Yeah," she replied distantly, "I'm…uh… looking for the scissors."

"Did you try the medicine cabinet?" He asked grabbing a shirt from the closet.

"Yes," she said watching him wiggle his arms through the sleeves

"In the first-aid kit?"

"Oh…." She stepped back, but lingered by the door frame before walking back to the bathroom. Once she located the scissors she returned to the kitchen oscillating the orange handle between her fingers.

"What took you so long?" Anna said stretching her palm towards Pam.

"I was looking for it," Pam said handing her the scissors.

"So, what do you think about moving the table over here?" Anna said pointing to an empty spot between the living room and the kitchen.

"Yeah… that would be great."

"Hey Jim," Anna exclaimed as he entered the living room with Bella, "Where do you think the table should go?"

"There is good," he pointed to where they were standing. Jim turned his focus to Pam, who stared into space. "Pam, where are Bella's pacifiers?"

"I got rid of them," she said hesitantly, "I saw this thing on TV and children who use pacifiers will have bad teeth."

Jim chuckled to himself. Pam was always a bit paranoid when it came to Bella. He loved her for that, for caring enough to go through sleepless nights with Bella yearning her pacifier. Jim nodded with Bella half-asleep on his arms and lifted the diper bag over his shoulder.

"I think we are going to leave you ladies in peace to get everything set up!"

Pam felt her stomach turn at the thought of him _not there_. She had been certain of her _decision_ up until today. Perhaps it was her lack of sleep or the adoration she saw in his eyes for their daughter.

"Where are you taking her?" She asked portraying an aloof persona.

"I thought the park."

"I think… I don't know… maybe you should stay………at least until she wakes up." She pointed to Bella asleep with her head resting haphazardly on his shoulder. Jim gazed at Pam searching her face. He could always read her, but she was doing an impeccable job at concealing her emotions. Perhaps that is was she'd been doing all along.

"Uhm… yeah." He placed the diper bag on the floor and walked back to the nursery. Jim would love more than anything to stay, but he was hesitant. He couldn't afford her toying with his feelings.

……………………

Morning rapidly turned into a bright afternoon. Pam lay haphazardly on the couch as Jim helped Anna with the decorations. Bella had woken up and was clutching Jim's pants as he stood attaching balloons to the wall. Bella could stand on her own, but hadn't taken her first steps yet. She always resorted to crawling whenever she was lifted to her feet.

"She is almost walking," Anna said observing Bella tottering around Jim as she held his jeans.

"Yeah, she just needs a little push…." He said taking a few steps to the side, compelling Bella to move with him.

"You know, Pam is no different."

Jim didn't say anything, he just nodded. The room was silent, except for Bella's ongoing babble.

"I think we should move the couch against the wall," Anna said, "It will make more room."

"You're right…"

"Let me wake up Pam."

"No, no, no… I'll bring her to bed," Jim said gladly. He broke Bella's grip off his pants and lifted her to Anna. He carefully approached the couch and in a single motion scooped Pam up. He walked to the bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot, before placing her gently on the bed. He let his hand stroke her hair, caressing her cheeks before bending down to kiss her forehead. Her skin was soft and warm and her hair smelled deliciously. He fought with all his might not to continue to kiss her.

Pam's peaceful demeanor triggered Jim's memories. A year ago today he found himself petrified of losing her and now he is in the same predicament. The notion of not being able to surrender physically and emotionally to her terrified him. He doesn't have it in him to ride that emotional roller coaster again. He walked back to the kitchen reliving those dreadful events.

"Hey," Anna said noticing a change in Jim's demeanor, "Are you ok?"

"d-dada-daaa," Bella uttered extending her arms to Jim. He lifted her from Anna's arm and hugged her tightly, kissing her lovingly. "I love you!" He whispered softly. Anna stood by watching the scene.

"It's been one year…" Jim said.

Anna nodded.

"I almost lost them…." He said caressing Bella's back, "I just don't know if I can…"

"You won't…." Anna interrupted, "They are still yours!"

……………

Pam woke up to the sound of laughter. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she distinguished their respective owners. She quickly got up squinting at the bright sunlight entering the bedroom through the terrace door. She walked to the living room and was dumbfounded by how beautifully adorned her living room looked. The balloons were organized in a rainbow fashion and the streamers danced with the gentle breeze entering through the opened patio door. She walked to the patio and saw Jim extending his arms out to Bella as she stood wobbly on her feet.

"C'mon Bell… you got this!" Jim said gesturing with his hands. He was surprised to see Pam standing against the door frame. "Hey… we didn't wake you up did we?" His smile went through her breaking every barricade she had put up within the past weeks. She felt weak, her knees trembled, and her heart pumped hard against her chest. She looked at her daughter wearing the same smile and she knew she could have died right then in there. The words didn't come and all she could do was shake her head.

"Ok… Pam look!" He turned his attention back to Bella, "Walk for mommy Bella!" He extended his arms to her and she took a single step in his direction. "Keep coming," he encouraged her. Pam stood mesmerized holding her hand over her mouth in disbelief.

Once Bella reached Jim's arms, he lifted her up and filled her with butterfly kisses. "That's my girl!" He exclaimed. Bella giggled hysterically. Pam joined Jim's tickle fest awestruck by the scene. After they had recorded and photographed the event, they sat around the patio watching Bella play.

"Where is Anna?" Pam asked.

"She went to pick up the cake."

"How long was I out for?" Pam asked sheepishly.

"Way too long if you ask me," he said teasingly, "About two hours."

"Really?"

"Yeah Beesley…. Slacker!"

Pam had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Jim. It was the first time she felt at easy in the last three weeks or so. The conversation flowed effortlessly and she started to question her previous motives for not talking to him. Today had been a collection of moments that reminded her why she gave her heart to him, married him, and conceived a child with him.

"Jim…." She began, "I think we…." She was interrupted by a knock on the door. As fast as the moment came, it left. The thumping woke her from her nostalgic trance and pushed her away.

"Pam?" Jim read her loud and clear. He knew what was coming.

"I-I… t-the door…. Someone is at the door," she said getting up from her chair.

He watched her walk away with a stinging pain in his eyes. He looked away only to land his eyes on Bella, his constant reminder of _her. _

…………………..

To be continued……

Thanks for reading!

Reviews are like cheese-puffs thrown at me!


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to all who reviewed, you guys have a special place in my heart! I apologize for the wait… I wasn't counting on finals taking up two weeks of my life =)

Ps. can't wait to see a Jam baby!! Office season 6!!!

……………..

Chapter 10

The _knocking _didn't cease for the next half hour as guests arrived for Bella's birthday. The spacious apartment seemed to have shrunk as the crowd quickly proliferated. The gift table was inundated with carefully wrapped boxes and small gift bags. The party games were a success in proving entertainment and a distraction to the children present. The finger foods were quickly being devoured and the punch was nearing its end. Everything seemed to be going smoothly.

Pam busied herself with last minutes preparations, while Jim made their guests comfortable. Bella was in an exceptionally good mood while being pampered by their relatives. With Jim's absence, Bella had become extra clingy. Pam referred to the phenomenon as _bubblegum baby_, sticking to her or Jim and never letting go. But deep inside, Pam loved having _bubblegum_ _Bella_. She missed the feeling of having someone constantly yearning for her.

"Hey…" Pam felt his hand rest on the small of her back.

"What's up?" She asked, feeling her heart beat faster.

"I think it's time for the cake."

"Yep. I will bring it right out."

Jim and Pam decided that for the time being, they were going to put their feeling aside and erase the past month or so; for the sake of their daughter. They were going to put their best party faces and leave their guest in complete oblivion. The last thing they needed was tension and awkwardness amongst their relatives.

"It's cake time," Pam announced.

Everyone crowded around the table chanting _happy birthday _while Bella giggled and clapped her chubby hands along. Jim lifted Bella over the cake to help her blow the candle out. But the proximity to the cake came as an invitation for Bella to dig both hands into it. Pam gasped as Bella lifted her frosting covered hands to her mouth, nose, and hair. Jim only laughed and encouraged Bella to further the mess.

"Bella, can daddy have some?" Jim asked opening his mouth as she dug further into the cake. Bella did not hesitate before depositing a piece half in his mouth, half on his chin. "Thank you sweetie," he said kissing her frosted fingers.

Pam caught Jim's mischievous gaze. As his _partner-in-crime,_ she still recognized that look way to well. She instantly began taking discreet steps towards the kitchen.

"You know what Bell," he said walking towards Pam, "I think mommy wants some cake too!" Jim lowered the small child to the cake, helping her rake a generous amount.

"No… Jim… Bell…. Listen to mommy…. No…" The small crowd cheered them on and Jim couldn't help but guide Bella's frosted hands all over Pam's cheeks. The crowd applauded elatedly, and so did Bella. Pam laughed and reattributed by cleaning herself on his shirt. Anna walked closer with the camcorder zooming on their faces.

"You guys look awesome!"

"Anna stop it!" Pam said sternly.

"I think mommy needs to show Bella what a good sport she is," Anna teased.

"Yeah, yeah…." Pam said rolling her eyes.

Jim walked Bella to the bathroom while Pam and Anna served the _untouched _portion of the cake. Once everybody was served and satisfied, they set to open the presents. There were orchestrated _uuh's_ and _aww's_ as each gift was shredded apart by the overly excited child, who paid more attention to the colorful wrapping than the present itself.

As the party neared its end and people began filtering out, Bella turned into her _bubblegum _state, clinging to Jim's neck as if her life depended on it. It was as if she sensed that he would be leaving soon too. Jim cherished knowing that his absence didn't go unnoticed by his daughter, but hated witnessing the side effects on her. Anna and Matt had offered to stay to help clean up the aftermath, but when everything seemed to be in their respective places, they also decided to head out.

"We are leaving now," Anna said.

"Say 'bye-bye' Bell," Jim said waiving Bella's hand in the air.

"buh-buh…" Bella mumbled.

"Bye honey!"

"Thanks for the help!" Pam said hugging her, "Couldn't have done it without you!"

"Don't mention it!" Anna said.

"Have a safe drive!" Jim said waving.

When the last car exited the garage, the somber reality sank in Jim's mind; he would be leaving soon too. He walked back into the living room with his exhausted daughter clinging to his neck and sat on the couch. Pam joined him in the adjourning couch.

"Good party Bees," Jim said rubbing his daughter's back.

"Yeah… everything turned out ok."

"I still can't believe Vanessa played _Happy Birthday_ on her trumpet."

"I though she only played _When the Saints Go Marching In_," Pam said.

They shared a laugh and soon the room fell into a comfortable silence. The only sound came from Bella's shallow breathing; the day's toils had finally gotten the best of her. Bella's small body spilled haphazardly over Jim's chest. He was amazed by how big she had gotten.

"I think she is out for the night," Jim said somberly.

"Yeah, I've never seen her crash so fast!"

"I'm going to put her down."

"Ok."

He slowly got up and made his way back to the nursery. After skillfully changing Bella into her pajamas, Jim carefully placed her in her crib, kissing her gently. He stood there for a while before making his way back to the living room. Bella was so beautiful and so much like her; from curls on her hair to the way her mouth parted slightly as she slept. Jim knew he had played a part in creating this beautiful masterpiece, but Pam's contours were the most outstanding. He turned on the nightlight by that crib and wandered to the living room.

"I think I'm leaving now," he said, almost chocking at the reality.

Pam only nodded, sipping her tea on the couch. The lukewarm liquid provided a momentary sense of refuge.

"I'll be back this week…..."

"Ok…"

"Bye Pam."

"Bye Jim."

_Thud_. The door closed behind him.

………………..

Jim drove aimlessly, dreading the emptiness and stillness of his hotel room. He found himself reverting to a time when he had lost it. When he couldn't sleep or concentrate on anything. When food had no taste and life had no meaning. When he attempted everything to fulfill his emptiness, only to revert to the one thing he had been running away from, _her. _He opened the car windows in hopes of letting the chilled air jerk him awake. He didn't want to surrender to dreams that gave him a false sense reality. He hated waking up thinking _she _was there and then crash as reality jolted him under. When he was at the brink of surrendering, Jim felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He held the phone up, gazing at the caller Id, _Pam._

"Hello?" He said apprehensively, he could hear Bella's cries in the background.

"Jim…" Her voice was small and weak.

"Pam? What is wrong?" Devastating scenarios began playing in his head.

"It's Bella, she's been crying nonstop. I don't know what to do. I've tried everything!"

"I will be right there!"

Jim drove through various stop signs and red lights. He was at the apartment within 10 minutes after her phone call. He searched around the car, finding a pacifier before running over to the apartment. He could hear his daughter's cries upon entering the lobby. He didn't knock; he used his keys and stepped inside. He walked to the bedroom, finding Bella screaming in Pam's arms as she rocked her from side to side. Pam met his gaze with swollen and redden eyes. Jim walked over lifting Bella from her arms before placing the pacifier in her mouth.

"Where did you get that?"

"It was in the car." He smiled.

Pam was exhausted and didn't mind if Bella had a pacifier or not. She was just happy when the little girl's piercing cries reverted to soft moans against Jim chest. He held her with such patience and love that made Pam began tearing all over again. She had made a terrible a decision. She did not need time _alone_, she needed him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Jim only nodded and walked back to the living room. He sat on the couch with Bella spilled over his chest, still whimpering.

"I know sweetie, I know…" He mumbled, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

Pam followed, but stood against the wall between the living room and the kitchen, watching Jim's patience with Bella. He toyed with the curls on her head, wiped the tears agglomerated on her cheeks, and stroked her back, gently soothing her to sleep. Tears continued to roll down Pam's cheeks as vivid images of _her_ father inundated her.

Jim looked over to Pam, whose sobbing had become increasingly louder. She was nervously tugging on the necklace around her neck, while wiping her cheeks with her shirt sleeve. Jim gazed down at himself and Bella and then back at Pam. He finally understood. He extended his arms to her and she began taking small steps towards him. Once in arm's length, Jim grabbed her hand and sat her next to him. He pulled her into a tight embrace, taking her scent in. Tears were slowly unleashing from the back of his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear.

She looked up to him biting her bottom lip. She wanted to say something, but instead surrendered into his arms, unleashing all hidden sorrows from the abyss of her soul. Her body trembled as she cried audibly into is shirt. He held her tight, kissing her, reminding her he would always be there, that the vows he'd once taken were inscribed in stone, in her heart.

……………

Bella had finally drifted off to sleep. Her breathing was easy and steady now. Jim kissed the wild curls on her head, smiling at the way her body curled on his chest. _She was his. _Pam rested her head on his shoulder while Jim gently caressed her arm. She had been silent for as long as they had been sitting on the couch. Jim knew it was only a matter of time now. He would sit there until dawn, if that's what she needed.

"I miss him," she finally spoke.

"I know."

"She will never know him," Pam said running her hand down Bella's back.

"That's not entirely true," he said with a lopsided smile. "My grandfather died before I was born, and I feel like I _know_ him pretty well… heck, I have his ears according to my mother!"

Pam only smiled, the smile that would make him go to the moon and back.

"You father is a part of you," he said resting his head against hers, "And therefore a part of her as well."

Pam closed her eyes letting the remainder tears cascade down her face. For the first time she felt light and at peace with herself. She stood up and lifted Bella off Jim's chest. She walked back to the nursery and gently placed her in the crib. Bella fussed in her sleep, but was quiet again. Pam walked back to the living room eyeing Jim sitting with his head resting on his hands. As soon as he saw her coming he got to his feet.

"I think…." Before she could finish her thought, Jim silences her by kissing her tenderly. He longed for her. He needed her. She responded by pulling her body closer to his. Jim ran his hands through her hair, down her spine, resting on her hips. She parted their lips slowly, looking straight into his eyes. Without hesitation she stepped back and extended a hand to him. He instinctively took it, and she pulled him towards the bedroom. They craved each other.

Soon their clothes were discarded to the floor together with their uncertainties. The pressure of his body against hers reminded Pam of his unwavering presence in her life. Every touch and every move evoked their deepest desire for each other. Jim's hot lips against her nude body sent her over the edge. When she finally surrendered herself, they came together in a wave of utmost pleasure. They allowed their bodies to fuse, never parting.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

They embraced each other in a comfortable silence. There wasn't a need for words. He played with the curls on her head and she traced his chest with her fingers.

"We are missing something." Jim said kissing head.

"What?" Pam looked at him puzzled.

"Be right back!"

She watched him grab his boxes and shirt from the floor and step out of the room. She also clothed herself and waited for what was to come. He returned with Bella asleep, on his shoulder. She smiled. Jim lay with Bella resting her on his chest. Pam snuggled next to him, resting her head between his shoulder and neck.

"Pam?"

"Yeah…"

"I go to Scranton next week. We should take Bella to visit her grandfather."

"That's a wonderful idea." Tears spilled down her cheeks.

Jim didn't care if his lungs collapsed from Bella's weight or if his arm lost circulation. The fact that the bed was just the right size and the room just dark enough assured him that he was exactly where was supposed to be, _home. _

……………

I think the next chapter will be the last… we get to see them go to Scranton and meet the office crew!

Thanks for reading! Reviews are awesome!


	11. Chapter 11

I want to thank everybody for sticking with me, reading and reviewing. You guys are seriously the best. I had fun writing this chapter, which I know it took longer than I expected. Hopefully another idea will pop into my head and I will be able to share it again. C'mon, I have to occupy myself until September. This has been great. This is the last chapter and without further ado…

………………..

Chapter 11

Pam puttered around the kitchen packing lunch for their trip to Scranton. She listened to the pitter-patter of Bella's small feet as she wandered about her. The light, rapid taps enabled Pam divert her thoughts from the trip. It wasn't that Pam was unwilling to go, but thought of returning to where it _all _had happened seemed overwhelming. She longed for closure, but didn't know how to deal with the growing knot in her stomach. She was jolted from her daze as Bella tipped over the garbage bag resting by the door.

"No sweetie…." Pam said unclenching Bella's tight grasp off the bag.

"Oh-ohs," Bella said pointing to a large yellow box contained within the bag.

Pam chuckled, "Daddy is bringing more cheerios honey."

"Oh-ohs," Bella insisted.

"C'mon," Pam said lifting Bella off the floor, "Let's bring the _oh-ohs _outside."

A beautiful summer morning was unfolding as the sun began reflecting its rays over the city. Pam relished days like these, where the warmth could be felt in the break of day. She walked outside, dispensing the trash as Bella waved it _good-bye._ It was almost a ritual for Bella to wave at anything she assumed was leaving— the trash, clothes put in the wash, even the tub water as it swirled down the drain. This and other of Bella's idiosyncrasies brought great amusement to the Halpert household. Upon reentering the apartment she found Jim, who was had returned from the grocery store.

"Hey," Jim said greeting Pam with a kiss.

"Hi!"

"What were you girls up to?"

"Well, your daughter was going through the trash again."

He chuckled.

"Oh-ohs," Bella said eyeing the cereal box on the counter.

"You want oh-ohs?" Jim asked lifting Bella to her highchair. "Here you go munchkin." Jim opened the newly bought box and poured it on the tray. Bella proceeded to grasp the small circles.

"So, when are we leaving?" Pam asked.

"Oh… We have to swing by corporate so I can pick up some paperwork, and from there we can head out."

"Sounds like a plan!"

They ate breakfast and finished packing the last of their suitcases before departing. They were staying at Jim's parents this time around. When he announced their visit, his parents had been so elated that they had turned it into a small family reunion. Pam loved Jim's family, even though pranks were more than a staple in that household.

When they arrived at corporate, Pam hesitantly accompanied Jim inside. The last time she'd been there was when she worked part-time during her semester at Pratt.

"C'mere Bell, let's go inside," Jim said removing her from the car seat.

"This is going to be a quick meet-and-greet right?" Pam asked.

"Yeah… I just have to grab some paperwork for Michael."

They were greeted by the new receptionist who was smitten with Bella. "Oh my God Mr. Halpert she is beautiful."

"This is my daughter Isabella and my wife Pam."

"It's so nice to finally meet you."

"You too," Pam said.

"Is Wallace in his office?" Jim asked.

"Yes, he is expecting you!"

They walked down the hallway to David Wallace's office, stopping every now and then to meet with other of Jim's co-workers. Bella assumed her customary post, grasping tightly to Jim's neck while people greeted them.

"Hi David!"

"Hey Jim, Pam! How are you?"

"Hi David, we're good," Pam said.

"I'm stopping by to pick up the paperwork for Michael" Jim said.

"Oh yes… I left it on your desk," David said before turning his attention to Bella, "Is this Miss Isabella Halpert?"

"She's the one," Jim said turning Bella to face him.

"How long has it been? She is so big! Thank God she looks like her mother!" David said teasingly.

"I know," Jim agreed winking at Pam.

"You're leaving for Scranton now?"

"Yes… And I will have Michael sign those papers and fax them to you ASAP!"

"That would be awesome. Well, have a safe trip. It was good to seeing you Pam!"

"You too David!"

"Say bye-bye Bella," Jim persuaded her.

"Buh-buh-ee," Bella mumbled.

…………………….

Their trip was uneventful. The car fell into a comfortable silence as Bella slept in the backseat. Jim gazed at Pam through his periphery, watching her play with the charm of her necklace. She was anxious, but that was okay. This time around would be different. They had talked so much about this trip that he knew that this was exactly what she needed— what _they_ needed. Small uncertainties still hovered, but this would be one of the many steps they'd taken in the past week towards normalcy.

"You ok there?" He asked.

"Yeah, just anxious," she uttered quietly.

Jim didn't respond. He simply removed his hand from the steering wheel and intertwined with hers. Pam gave him a soft smile. Silence reigned once more before being interrupted by the frantic ring of Jim's phone. The cacophony startled Bella, who began whimpering softly.

"Jim Halpert," he answered his phone.

"JIMMM!" Said the too familiar voice on the other line, which could be heard as Jim pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Hey….. Michael"

"Where are you man?" Michael asked.

"I'm on my away… I should be there before lunch."

Bella's soft moans began turning into piercing cries. Pam was quick to soothe her, recognizing the repercussions of Michael's acknowledgement of Bella's presence in the car.

"Oh my god….JIM!!"

"No Michael!"

"Are you bringing your baby here????"

"No I am-"

"Hey everyone," Jim heard Michael say over the phone, "Jim and Pam are coming with their baby today!"

"No Michael," Jim looked nervously at Pam whom chuckled to herself.

"Ok Jim… I will see you guys soon…Party Planning committee…"

"Michael…" Jim attempted to interject, but Michael had already hung up.

"This is going to be interesting," Jim said smiling.

…………………

It wasn't long before they arrived at his parent's house. The condo Jim's parents had moved into was small, but comfortable nonetheless. It was in an enclosed community in Scranton, occupied by mostly retirees.

"Jimmy!" Larissa exclaimed.

"Mom, dad!"

"Pam… Bella" Larissa said lifting Bella from Pam's arms. Bella giggled as Larissa tickled her belly. "How's my favorite grandchild?"

"Shouldn't say that mom!"

"Come on inside," Jim's dad motioned with his hands.

They unloaded the car and settled their luggage in one of the guest rooms. Bella was quickly on her feet, wobbling around the house. Pam had become more relaxed now, talking about work and future promotions, while Jim stood in the background, listening. Every day he saw snippets of _his_ Pam emerging at the surface. He looked at his own parents and couldn't imagine what she had gone through with the loss of her father. Looking back, Jim felt guilty for thinking otherwise of her reaction.

"How was the drive?" Larissa asked. "Was Bella any trouble?"

"Oh, it was great," Pam answered, "Car rides are like kryptonite to her. As soon as we start driving she falls asleep."

"Jim was the same way," Dan, Jim's father, interjected, "Whenever Larissa was out of town… the only way I got Jim to sleep was to take him out for a drive!"

Pam laughed at the new found fact. Her daughter looked like her, but she was a little version of him, aside from her reserved persona. They sat in the living room for a few minutes before Jim had to leave for the office.

"I'm leaving now," Jim said getting up, "I have to resolve some problems at the office."

"Already? I just started lunch!" Larissa said.

"Pam, you leaving too?" Dan said as Pam stood next to Jim.

"Actually," Jim said looking at Pam, "It would be better if you came later, if you come now I will not get any work done."

Larissa and Dan looked puzzled at each other. Jim noticed their reactions and began explaining, "I kinda let Michael know I was bringing them over."

"Oh," Dan said, "I can drive them later!"

"That would be great dad, thanks!"

…………….

When Jim took the elevator up the Dunder-Mifflin Scranton office, it was as if he had travelled into the past. So many memories, good and bad, flooded his mind. As much as he would like to erase them, this place was as much part of him as his ties. Heck, it was here he met Pam, and the reason he now had Bella. Thinking about it, it would be important to show Bella such a historical place. As soon as he pushed the doors open he heard voices chant, "Surprise!"

"W-what is going…"

Before Jim could finish, Michael interrupted, "Surprise!" Jim just looked puzzled and waited for Michael to finish explaining. "Where is Pam? And the baby?"

"Well… they will stop by later."

"What? No! Everything is ready!"

"What's ready Michael?"

"The party!"

"Well that's going to have to wait," Jim said redirecting his focus to the crowd agglomerated by the door. "Actually, now that I have everyone's attention, I would like to see you all in the conference room in ten, thank you!"

"It's good to see you man," Oscar said.

"Oh my god Jim! I can't wait to see your baby!" Kelly interjected.

"I promise they will be here later in the afternoon!"

"Jim…" said another too familiar voice.

"Hey Dwight!"

"Question, what will the meeting entail?"

"Just new corporate policies."

"Excellent! It's time cooperate acknowledged the suggestions I've made over the years."

"Computer mutiny will not be a subject."

…………..

Everything went as expected, even though Michael was more distracted than usual. Jim had to use bribery to finish the task at hand. It always worked with Bella, why not with Michael? Besides, if he wanted to see Pam and Bella he would have to comply with him, and comply fast. Wallace never understood how Jim could so easily deal with Michael. He guessed it was just good management skills on Jim's part.

Jim was in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee when he heard a small commotion coming from outside. Everyone had stood from their desks and agglomerated by the door. Even Stanley had made the effort of putting down his crossword puzzle to investigate the excitement. Jim slowly pushed the kitchen door open as Kelly sped by him from the annex. He walked out and could barely see Pam engulfed within the crowd.

"Pam she is so precious!" Phyllis said.

"She is like Shiloh, except for the curly hair and the green eyes!" Kelly squealed.

"Thanks?" Pam said lifting Bella to the floor. Bella stood, hiding behind Pam's legs, looking frightened by all the people hovering over her.

"Pam!" Michael said, but quickly diverted his focus to Bella, "Hey there baby… Wanna give uncle Micky a hug?"

"Sorry Michael, she's not comfortable with people she hasn't met!" Pam warned him.

"Come here… I have candy!" Michael insisted.

Bella began walking towards Michael, giving him a glimpse of hope. But she went right past him, stopping at Jim's foot and extending her arms into the hair. Jim smiled and scooped her up.

"I almost had her if it wasn't for you Jim!"

"Sorry Michael."

"Whatevs… Let's Party now!"

"Party?" Pam asked.

"Yes, there is a party Pam. Don't sound so surprised!" Jim said.

They all moved into the conference room, where balloons and a banner that said _welcome baby_ displayed in the far left corner.

"Oh… Thank you… everyone," Pam said in disbelief.

"We've missed you guys," Michael started, "An office needs sexual tension to function..."

"Ok Michael," Jim interrupted, "How about that cake, uh? Mint-chocolate-chip?"

"You got it man!"

They celebrated the _new _addition to the Dunder-Mifflin family—Dunder-Mifflin style. Bella had become more comfortable amongst the office crew and wondered freely, playing with the various toys Michael had brought from his office. Michael sang his version of John Mayer's "Daughters," while she swayed with her wobbly legs, which would sometimes give in from under her. Kelly was overjoyed when Bella actually went with her. Pam and Jim stepped out of the conference room and found a quiet spot by reception, watching the show unfold. They could still hear Kelly yelling, "Jim she has you ears, Pam's eyes… Thank God she has Pam's nose." They only laughed, somehow the atmosphere felt right.

"Do you miss it Bees?" Jim asked as he saw Pam looking all googly-eyes at the conference room.

"Look at her? She is actually dancing!"

"She is equipped with your dance moves. It's cute."

"It will take me forever to remove the chocolate from her dress, her hair… Who gave her the idea her head was a napkin?"

Jim only chuckled!

"This place does hold a lot of memories, uh?" Pam asked.

"Yeah…" Jim trailed off—in thought—recounting the various pranks, phone calls, parties, and pointless seminar they had to endure.

Bella soon became tired, allowing her small legs to completely surrender from under her. She sat on Michael's lap holding a balloon in her hand. Pam and Jim returned to the conference room, welcomed by Bella frantically extending her chubby arms towards them. Michael smiled. He looked at Jim and Pam and assured himself that this _family_ was as a result of his own doing.

"Hey Bella… If it wasn't for me… you wouldn't be here little girl!"

"C'mere Bell," Pam said chuckling. Bella scrunched her nose digging it into Pam's shirt. The universal signal for _I need a nap mommy._

"I think we are gonna get going," Jim announced.

"Yeah, thanks everyone… _This_ was great!" Pam said.

"Don't be a stranger Pam," Phyllis chimed in, "You, Jim, Bob, and I should go to dinner the next time you're in town."

"No," Jim and Pam said simultaneously, "We mean," Pam began, "May be Phyllis."

"Your baby is well-behaved and polite," Angela uttered from the far corner of the conference room."

"Thanks Angela," Jim said.

"Here," Michael said handing them a rectangular package, "It's from all of us, but more from me!" Jim and Pam proceeded to unwrap it, revealing the book _Oh, The Places You I'll Go. _

"Thanks everyone," Pam said.

With another series of good-byes, Jim and Pam were on their way to his parent's house. It had been a great walk down memory lane—apparently today's reoccurring theme. It was nice to have this little world where they could always turn to reassure their sanity—even if they fit well within this awkward puzzle. Upon arriving, Jim scooped Bella from her car seat—asleep, mouth slightly open, resting her head on Jim's shoulder. They entered the house, finding Tom, his wife Jen, and their kids in the living room.

"Jim!" Tom exclaimed, but quieted, eyeing Bella slumbering on his shoulders, "Sorry man… didn't know she was asleep!"

"Don't worry about it; she won't be waking up soon."

"Hey Pam," Tom said pulling her into a hug.

"Hey… Hi Jen!"

"Aunt Pam!" Jack, Tom's youngest son, exclaimed.

"Hey there… Giving your sister trouble?"

"No…" Pam saw the Halpert mischief in his eyes.

"Good to see you Pam," Jen said, "Sorry I couldn't come down to Bella birthday. I was stuck with the weekend at work."

"Don't worry about it," She said sitting down on the couch as she watched Jim disappear with Bella down the hallway.

"Vanessa wouldn't stop talking about the fishing game."

"Yeah, they had fun those two!"

Jim returned with a baby monitor in hand, taking a seat next to Pam. Jim's parents soon joined them in the living room. They were talking and keeping with the evident theme of descending down memory lane. It wasn't long before Pete arrived with his fiancé adding to the snippets of recollections. Dinner was pleasant and Pam radiated in her summer dress. The din light of the dining room accentuated her soft features tantalizing Jim, who couldn't take his eyes off of her. She felt his gaze penetrating her skin. It wasn't long before Bella was up and cooing in the baby monitor. Jim stood up and winked at Pam tugging at her hand. She excused herself and followed him down the hallway. He pulled her into a soft kiss. Her hands travelled to her hair, teasing his collar. They walked into their room, never breaking their kiss.

"Where is Bella?" She questioned, looking around the room.

"In my parent's bedroom. Mom insisted I lay her there for her nap, something about the humidifier… I didn't complain!"

"What about Bella?"

"Listen," he said pointing to the monitor, "I think she's ok!"

He proceeded to kiss her, carefully laying her on the bed. His hands quickly found the way to her the zipper on her dress and she was quick to work on his belt buckle. It wasn't long before their nude bodies were enveloped by the moonlight entering through the window. His hands found their way around her body, conveying the utmost pleasure. She gasped, conceding herself as she felt him inside her. Soon her warmth sent him over the edge and she followed soon after in sweet surrender. They embraced in the quiet of their room, laughing at what had just happened. She rolled on top of him kissing him one last time before picking up her clothing garments from the pile on the floor. She walked out the room, winking mischievously.

"Hey sweetie…" Jim heard Pam say over the monitor, "You hungry?"

Jim finished getting dress and headed back to the dining room. Everyone was so engrossed in their conversation that no one noticed their sudden disappearance. Pam proceeded to feed Bella as everyone agglomerated in the living room, apparently picking up their conversation where they had previously left off. Their banter went further into the night and it wasn't long before everyone retired to their rooms. It was nearing midnight when Jim and Pam finally whined down for the day with Bella sandwiched between them.

………………….

Jim and Pam were up early on the following morning. They were going to be making their trip to _see_ grandpa. Pam had gotten herself and Bella dressed and retreated to the kitchen. Jim followed quietly—not wanting to wake anybody up. Pam's demeanor had changed; she was quiet and failed to smile at Jim's attempts to make her laugh. He waited for Bella to finish her bottle before approaching her.

"You ready?" Jim asked sipping his cup of coffee.

"No..." she replied with a mere excuse of a smile. Jim slowly extended his hand, which she took right away. He scooped Bella with his other hand and made his way to the car. The silence prevailed for most of their trip to the cemetery. Jim made sure to stop to buy flowers, which elicited Pam's first set of tears. They quickly arrived and Jim sat waiting for Pam to make the first move. But she didn't. She sat, intently gazing at the flowers in her hands. Bella fussed in the back seat and Jim decided to wait with Bella outside.

Bella was running around Jim picking random items from the ground and showing them to Jim. He smiled saying, "Grass, rock, leaf…" every time she presented something to him. Pam turned her focus to them—watching the cool morning breeze played with Bella's curls. She touched her own hair looking at the similarities. She then watched Jim lifting Bella up to grasp the leaves up on a tree. She was able to pluck a few, holding it tightly to in her hand. Pam quietly opened the car door making her way towards them. As soon as Bella saw her, she walked to Pam and handed the leaves housing inside her small hands.

"Oh, thank you sweetie," Pam said wiping tears cascading her face. She looked up at Jim, who gave her a lopsided grim— his trademark. Pam took in a big breath before extending her hand to Bella, leading her through various headstones. Jim held her other hand, squeezing it tightly. It wasn't long before they singled out his headstone.

_In the loving memory of Joseph Carl Beesly (1952-2009), Loving husband and father. _

Pam kneeled down placing a flower in Bella's hand. Bella stared intently at the colorful object in her hands. Pam walked a few steps further, placing the remaining flowers by the headstone. Bella followed, depositing the single flower next to the others. Jim approached kneeling next to them, enveloping Pam with his arm.

"Hi Joe- dad," Jim said, eliciting a smile from Pam— the first one of day. "Sorry we didn't come sooner. We brought Bella. She's gotten bigger since the last time you saw her…"

"Hi dad," Pam began, "I miss you… He all do! Anna is getting married in the fall. It's been hard here without you! I wish you were here…" Pam continued talking. Jim acknowledged her need for some time alone and slowly backed away with Bella. It had been a couple of minutes before Pam emerged from her sitting position, finding Jim with Bella a few steps away, playing catch with the wind. She made her way toward them—adorned with a smile.

"Ready?" Jim asked.

"Ready as I will ever be!"

Bella turned one last time towards the headstone, waving _good-bye_ as they made their way through the grassy field. Jim took Pam by the hand, grasping Bella's tiny hand with the other, making their way—finally—home. It didn't matter what happened to them in the past or what was happening to them now. What determined their destiny was not the condition they found themselves in, but the decisions they made.

………………….

The end…

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